Prequel to Boat Race 3 (Operation Delta Forces)

After two successive abysmal performances at the Boat Race, people were fed up. People started complaining about how they couldn’t take the constant disgrace of coming last in every race. Various “Think Tank” groups had been formed that focused on explaining to people why the current coach and management body of the team needed to go. There were regular public symposiums with themes focused on the financial implications of taking part in the race, others focused on historic performances of the past.

People would now gather in parks discussing the first boat race the nation ever took part in and how the participants were patriotic and how despite limited resources, they had won the boat race against teams with better technology, against all odds. The good old days were all people talked about. People who weren’t old enough to know about the said good old days talked about it with such passion that one would have thought they lived it. That winning team was nicknamed the Golden Generation.

Eventually, the citizens decided it was time for change. The current team had spent millions on a luxury yacht for the last race and had still come last. There was a team that had been begging to be allowed to represent the nation for a while and most people started to agree they had nothing to lose. After all, it wasn’t like they could do any worse than being last.

It was decided that the two teams would be given a chance to convince the people at a town council meeting. The general consensus among the people was that the Elephant team was to be given a chance to represent the people at the Boat race. The only people who thought the Umbrella team would be given the mandate were the Umbrella people.

Though the people had assured the Elephant team of their support, the Elephant team, used to being disappointed decided to sell a bit of their souls to the Devil in exchange for a guaranteed victory. The Devil in turn gave them the Delta forces, a malevolent and mischievous team that went on to, by what can’t be explained by logical reasoning, help them win the mandate of the people.

So the deed was done. Elephant team was now going to represent the people. The new team immediately out-doored the boat that would be used for the next race. It was an exact replica of the boat the Golden Generation had used. People were inspired. The Golden Generation team had been made up of six rowers and a leader who was the navigator and strategy coordinator. The boat could technically take twenty people but for best results a smaller and more efficient team was advisable.

When the Elephant team announced the people who would actually be rowing in the race, people got a bit confused. The rowing team was made up of twenty four people and one leader even though the boat’s maximum capacity was twenty. Quite a lot of the rowers looked like they were past their prime and didn’t really inspire confidence.

According to the leader of the Elephant team, all twenty four rowers were experts in various fields necessary to win the race. One old man was an expert in Bernoulli’s principle, another an expert in Archimedes principle, another a marine Biologist and so on and so forth. Even though the people weren’t quite sure of what those titles had to do with boat racing, they were mightily impressed by the big words they couldn’t understand.

The Umbrella team tried to make a scene and point out that there was no way the Elephant team could win the race with such a team but after years of incompetence, no one really cared about their opinion. The people were once again quick to point out that, the new team couldn’t possibly do worse than the last.

The Elephant team started training for the race which was a few months away. On the first day of training, it was noted that the team was one oar short. The twenty four people somehow managed to squeeze in the boat and sit twelve at each side with the leader dangerously balanced at the front deck. The boat was barely afloat and because one side was one oar short, the rowing didn’t go very smoothly.

There was a man on the beach shouting at them, “there are too many people in the boat” and the leader shouted back, “I know what I’m doing”. Rumor had it that that man was once a member of the Golden Generation but you know rumors, there are no ways to verify.

The next day at training two more oars were missing but the team went ahead and filled the boat. Now there were three people without oars. The rowing was even more unbalanced than the previous day and the extra three plus the leader were now just dead weight.

The third day another two oars were missing. At this point, the leader was starting to get worried so he went to a famous shaman who told him that the Delta forces that had helped them win the people’s favor were restless and now without a sense of purpose. Being the mischievous spirit they were they had now resorted to stealing their oars. When the leader asked the Shaman what he could do to pacify the forces, the Shaman said, “the answer lies within you” then charged the leader an obscene amount of money for the consultation.

The Boat race is in a few months. Everyday team Elephant shows up at the beach to train and no matter how many times they replace the oars, they are at least one oar short. The boat looks like it can barely hold the weight of all twenty four rowers plus the leader but they insist they know what they are doing.

People have started becoming skeptical about the chances of the new team in the next boat race but some have pointed out the new team can’t possibly do worse than the last. Some aren’t so sure.

Boat race is in a few months, we live to see.

Delta Forces by @BRIGHTACKWERH

This is a follow up to two previous posts on this Blog:
Boat Race 1: A Political Parable
Boat Race 2: A Political Parable

Tweet

comments

President Mahama, Making History

First Ghanaian President to hit 1 million followers. Nice! 

From Kwame Nkrumah to Jerry John Rawlings, there was no Facebook so they are out. Even if they have Facebook pages now, it wasn't while they were president so no competition. 

That leaves John Kufuor and Atta Mills. Facebook started in 2004 but it was only in September 2006 that it was open to people outside University campuses in US and UK. 

2009 John Kufuor goes out without achieving a million followers or a Facebook page. 

Step in John Evans Atta Mills, he didn't have a Facebook page. Or did he? 

Anyway, 2010 Facebook celebrity pages isn't a thing so no one can be said to have a million followers. 

Atta Mills passes away in 2012 without achieving a million followers. 

Only one person left in the race to 1 million followers. 

2016 John Mahama becomes first Ghana President to reach 1 million. 

In a one man race with no one paying attention, President Mahama dashes to a finish line that isn't really there. 

History is made...

Some say President Mahama is the Usain Bolt of Gh Presidential Facebook race and it's hard to argue with them. He has no challenger, literally... 

Tweet

comments

Election 2016: Know Your Political Parties #GhanaDecides

It's getting to election time and most parties have by now nominated their flag bearers, running mates and put on their Election Sunday wear. Earlier this year I wrote a post on a different platform on what to expectbefore the elections and it was almost prophetic.

As the elections draw closer and closer still, I've decided to do a brief introduction for those of you who somehow still don't know about the main political parties in Ghana.

NDC:

The last four year have been touted as “Action Years” by President Mahama and his team. The elections were won on the inspiring and eloquently put slogan, “E dey bee kɛkɛ”. True to his words, there has been a lot of “Action” in the last four years. From the melodic voices of generators, taxes breaking olympic high jump records, 4x100 relay of unfulfilled political promises to name but a few. The action never seems to end.

As we get closer, the President urges us all to look at his good works and ignore detractors and vote for another four years of action. What is there not to like?

NPP:

Gone were the days when a few months to election NPP would be organizing lectures and press conferences with Economic gurus like Dr Bawumia bamboozling us with with indigestible terms and huge numbers that tell us that we are suffering. The next few days would have been spent on every radio station trying to explain to perplexed morning show host what all the big words meant.

These days, however, NPP have realized all those don't win elections. Catchy slogans do. I would have thought that coming to this realization, Nana and team would pull out Sheikh IC Quaye from whatever drawer he's hiding in, dust him up and shake up a few catchy slogan but no. They chosen a different strategy.

www.sportskeeda.com

So far NPP's focus has been on the EC chairwoman, the electoral process and every everything surrounding the EC. Everyday on the news, it's a new story about how the election are going to be rigged, how the EC chairwoman is not credible and doesn't deserve the job. Let's see how this new strategy goes.

The New Crusading Guide: NPP Flays EC over electronic transmission of results #DaybreakHitz pic.twitter.com/1og33tB63f

— #MusikBox (@Hitz1039Fm) August 5, 2016

PPP, CPP, PNC:

The race for the below 2% votes has never been more drab. I'm guessing that the strategy is to lay low then a few days to the election, they spring a surprise so stunning on us that we will have no choice but to vote for them.

The PNC wowed all of us by digging through their trunk and pulling out a wrinkled Dr Mahama and without ironing proceeded to display him before the public as their presidential aspirant. I'm guessing the strategy here being, some people will mistakenly vote for him, given there will be two Mahamas on the ballot paper.

When was the last time I heard of CPP…

It’s foolish for my employees to support Mahama https://t.co/PhqnSi51tj pic.twitter.com/PPSzPKs4XZ

— #ABENWOHA (@kasapafm) August 3, 2016

Paa Kwesi Nduom just elected Brigitte Dzogbenuku and everyone proceeded to ignore everything about her and remind us that she was Miss Ghana 1991. Paa Kwesi, has given some interviews on his plans for Ghana. They've been well thought out and very eloquent but we all know where that got Dr Abu Sakara.

The Rest:

This is where all the fun is. The Parties with Presidential candidates whose name we will find out on election day and promptly forget them the moment we walk out the booth. Before that day, finding their campaign posters will be like treasure hunting.

Notable among them are former First lady Nana Konadu who after pulling a massive 3% vote against the Late Prof Atta Mill decided she had enough of a following to form her own party.

Hassan Ayariga who left us with so many memorable quotes and then decided the CPP was too small for him and also formed his own party.

"No offences" 🙌🙌🙌#GhanaDecides #233moments pic.twitter.com/fgKL55rpKO

— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) August 5, 2016

Akua Donkor, who has followed President Mahama to a few international conferences which have given her the experience she needs to rule a country.

So now you know.... 

Tweet

comments

Spreading Fear and Panic

I've seen all the fear and Panic being spread around by reports of twoformer Guantanamo Bay detainees arriving in Ghana. I'm not sure what informed the choice of Ghana as their preferred destination and I'm not sure I totally agree with them coming here but it looks like the deed has already been done. The next logical step, of course, is to spread fear and panic, like we always do.

Frankly, once again I'm totally disappointed in the opposition parties. They are busy, literally, biting each other. The radio stations are doing a good job spreading the fear and panic and should be congratulated.

However, I think there are some things they've missed that would cause the masses to be more agitated than they already are.

Let's for a moment forget that these two Yemenis were formerly terrorists suspects, they've been cleared of all charges so yeah, let's forget.

You guys realize that they won't be housed in 4x4 meters Single room self contained building at places like Agbogba, Gbetsile or Kakasunanka Number 1, right? They will be housed in some really posh part of Ghana where they won't pay bills or probably even suffer Dumsor.

They have to survive so they will probably be given tax free stipends and allowances which will most definitely be more than your monthly salary. Are you jealous yet?

There's also the 'they are coming to take our girls' angle that few people have considered.

“One of them is also one pony tail and a shave away from being mistaken for a Spaniard”

-@madjetey 

Mahmoud Omar Bin Atef

Once they start earning free money which I previously stated will be more than your salary, they will move to the gals dem. As stated in the quote by @madjetey, one of them looks suspiciously like the Alejandros and Miguels in Mexican soaps that some Ghanaian ladies seem to like so much. I don't see myself winning a rat race with Alejandro-wannabe who is living in a posh house and earning more than me.

Then there's the possibility of them becoming celebrities in Ghana. I saw pictures of the ex-detainees and one looked like he could easily pass for Jesus in a Ghanaian movie and the other could easily pass for Moses. If the Kumawood movie producers see them they'd start getting ideas and the next thing you know, they would be on TV and in every VIP bus being Jesus or Moses. Before long they will be winning trophies at the Ghana movie awards and starring in movies next to Nadia Buari and Majid Michel. 

I read this morning that Alejandro-wannabe said he's happy to be in Ghana. I would too if I were him considering all the many opportunities I'd be enjoying soon. 

You Guys Didn't Tell Me We Were Taking In Jesus And Moses. But We Slack. 😭 pic.twitter.com/Nbsm4mwC5b

— R O N D O (@Koffy_9) January 8, 2016

In an interview with one of the local radio stations, the ex- Gitmo detainees stated they watched the World Cup and cheered when Ghana beat the US in previous competitions. Alejandro-wannabe said he liked Asamoah Ghana a lot and so did other detainees. I wonder how they felt when Asamoah Gyan missed the penalty? It's totally possible that there were wagers on the match and some people lost money. What if they want revenge for the money they lost? 



I could go on and on about the possibilities but i'm guessing you get the point and i've succeeded in spreading more fear and panic than is already in the system. 

You are welcome

Tweet

comments

How Lions became the Rulers of Gaana (a Ghanaian Folktale)

Long long ago, when the Earth was still young, Man and all animals lived at peace in the great forest called Gaana that Mawu Sogbolisa, God of all things, had created.

Man's reign in Gaana was a time of peace and prosperity. The forest flourished and the animals grew fat. In the Forest's hierarchy of Power, after man came the monkeys who despite their mischievous ways were actually very wise, did their jobs well and kept their shenanigans to themselves. Next came the Lions who were creatures of great avarice and power, yet, they too did their jobs.

Somewhere along the line, Man and Mawu had a big falling out for reasons that are now lost to myths and legends. Mawu was so brokenhearted by whatever it was the Man did that he drove him out of the great forest into the wilderness. Then Mawu ascended into the Heavens and the forest was left ungoverned for centuries.

Various religions have their own version on this falling out but no one can say for sure what actually happened. This story is not a story about Man and Mawu's fallout; this is about what happened after.

Things changed when Man was removed from the forest of Gaana. The monkey tribe and the Lion tribe fought a bloody war over Gaana for so long that what was once paradise became a hellhole.

One day the other creatures had a secret meeting at which they decided it was time to once and for all pick one tribe to rule over them. Most of the animals agreed they didn't have the technical know how to rule a great forest and grudgingly agreed to choose between the Monkey Tribe and the Lion Tribe. It was decided that the two tribes would have to convince the animals they were worthy of being the royal family. The elections were to be held on the memorial of Man's treachery which was three months away. The Crow was sent to tell the Monkeys and Lions of this decision.

The Lion tribe immediately launched themselves into campaign mode. They agreed among themselves that they would tell any animal who would listen that they had become herbivores. No Lion was supposed to be seen eating anything but fruits in public. They started spreading the stories through the forest grapevine. Though no animal wanted to believe it they never saw any Lion eating any other animal. When they pointed out that some animals were mysteriously disappearing, the Lions said they saw some of the animal leaving the forest because they missed Man and were going to live with him. There was no proof to suggest otherwise so the animals started to believe Lions were now herbivores.

The Lions also came up with a story about how they had fought side by side with Man in a great war to protect the forest from Sasabonsam and his horde of Demons. No other animal could remember such an incident happening but the Lions repeated this story so often that it became the truth. Soon other animals started telling these stories. The more the story was told, the more fantastic it became.

Meanwhile, the Monkey tribe were busy jumping from tree to tree having and engaging in all sort of mischief. They were constantly seen throwing rotten fruits and sometimes their own faeces at each other and sometimes at passersby. They couldn't be bothered about convincing the other animals to vote for them. In their opinion, they were the animals who looked like Man the most and since the other animals missed Man so much, they would vote for Monkeys as the next ruler.

The older animals who really wanted the Monkey as ruler were disappointed in their tactics and sent a delegation to tell the Monkeys to behave more seriously, at least during the campaign period.

However, when the Monkeys saw the delegation at a distance, they threw rotten fruits at them and wouldn't even get down from the trees to listen to whatever the delegates had to say. On the other side of the forest the Lions were becoming more popular everyday. 

Finally the day of the elections came and all the animals showed up to vote. The Monkeys showed up handing out fruits to everyone and reminding them of how much monkeys looked like man. Everyone in the queue was seen eating a fruit on their way to cast the vote.

That evening when the results were announced, Lions won by a huge margin to the Monkeys surprise. They screamed and protested insisting that the elections were rigged but no one listened.

A fortnight later, the chief Lion was made King of the Jungle and the Lion tribe was declared the royal family. The monkeys went back into the forest and to this day are still throwing rotten fruits and faeces at each other.

This is the story of how Lions and not Monkey became rulers of the forest called Gaana.

The End!

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  

Tweet

comments

Politics and Political Reactions from Ghana

Imagine a scenario in which on the President's birthday, he takes a break from work and goes jet skiing with some unknown lady. Now imagine during the jet skiing there's an accident while the president is steering and the lady falls off and begins to drown. Now, imagine the president steps off the jet ski, walks on the water to where the lady is drowning and pulls her out of the water like Jesus did with Peter. What would be the general reaction of various Ghanaian groups?

credit showbiz.peacefmonline.com

NPP:

(Hurriedly organizes press conference)

Bawumia: It is very sad that a time of economic crisis like this, the President is still adding years to his age while Ghanaians are suffering.

Mahama's latest antics have a negative repercussion on the economy. By walking on water, he's telling local boat makers and other artisans that their wares are not good enough to use and also encouraging the youth to walk on water rather that use made in Ghana life jackets.

This could also affect investor confidence in our economy.

I have in my hand a document proving that since that walking on water event, the cedi has depreciated by 25% and we are not likely to meet the IMF's target of single digit inflation by the end of the year.

When we come to power, we will ensure free educations from High School to PhD level.

Such arrogance from the NDC can not be tolerated.

(Gabe Otchere-Darko and co organize demo)

credit www.kapital971.com

The spectacular collapse of Ghana's $1.5bn Eurobond is the strongest indication yet that Ghana has lost its shine with investors.

— Gabby Otchere-Darko (@GabbyDarko) October 4, 2015

NDC:

General Mosquito: All what the NPP are saying is nonsense. Besides, when they were in power they did far worse. We all remember in 2007 when then president Kufuor stepped out of an aeroplane and walked on air without a parachute for no reason. That led to the cedi dropping to it's all time low and affecting oil prices on the international market. When we complained they said it was part of the HIPC initiative.

Weren't we all in this country when the president's brother was seen celebrating his birthday at a time of economic hardship. He even added two years to his age and when we complained in parliament they said “yɛ bɛ wu nti yɛn da”?

Besides, what is wrong with the president walking on water? This could boost our tourism sector.

Credit www.viasat1.com.gh

CPP:

This is why our first president Osagyefo Dr Kwame Nkrumah built the Akosombo Dam and the Tema Motorway which in those days were the best in Africa. It is sad how both the NDC and NPP have allowed facilities to deteriorate.

Nkrumah had a vision to make Ghana the most developed country in the world. He started before he was overthrown by member of the the Danquah-Busia tradition in a CIA funded coup. If he had been allowed to successfully implement his plans we wouldn't be at a situation where the president would have to be walking on water.

Ghanaian need to open their eyes are realize that these two parties have nothing to offer.

(at the CPP press conference; low press turn out and CPP members present look disinterested and are busy discussing something else)

credit: www.zaaradio.com

SOCIAL MEDIA:

RT @TtdaBoi: The woman on the jet ski doesn't look like the first lady but that's none of my business (inserts appropriate meme)

RT @GhSavage: @TtdaBoi yeah but she's fine! I'd totally smash her (insert inappropriate emoji)

RT: @ArabaFNista: why was the president the one driving the jet ski not the lady? Patriarchy in this country is systemic

RT @ManUtd4Lyf: Charle that goal by Rooney though... World Class!!

RT @GhAtheist: Jesus didn't actually walk on water. Evidence suggests Jews in that era regularly rode a now extinct giant turtle called the Bullshitus imadethisup (inserts link here)

RT @Kofi_2fresh: Any girl that hangs her clothes on a nail is a hoe

-

NPP: Rawlings left us HIPC NDC: Kuffour took Ghana to HIPC. Your reality is based on your preference.

— Moose (@thefantegod) October 13, 2015

yɛ bɛ wu nti yɛn da - should we refuse to sleep because we fear death? A Ghanaian proverb that basically mean fear of the unknown shouldn't prevent you from living

Tweet

comments

PMS: Ghana's World Cup and That Time of the Month

I swear I didn't make any of this stuff up. Not even the ridiculously unbelievable parts. It’s all true, I promise.

After a somewhat impressive performance by Ghana’s Black Stars at the last two World Cups, big things were expected at our third outing. If only we knew what was coming…

We lost to our usual whipping boys the USA and that wasn't even the worst thing about our tournament. There we allegations of match fixing with a video of certain football Administrators agreeing to bribe referee influence matches. In their defense, they were set up but as Micky Bricks said, "You can't con an honest man". This also wasn't the worst thing to come out.

Stories of unpaid bonuses and player agitations began to filter into the country but officials kept on denying them. I understand that a man is due his wages and no one would be happy if they weren't paid. What I didn't understand was why on the biggest stage players were more concerned about money than about playing. Forget about patriotism, it died long ago. Why not play for personal glory? Think of all the money you could make if you put up a great performance. Kevin-Prince Boateng moved from lowly Portsmouth to AC off the back of his 2010 performance.

I’m not sure what happened but the next thing we knew, there were rumors that our president had made available a chartered flight from Ghana to Brazil carrying in excess of $3 million (US not Zimbabwean). My first reaction was, “this is too ridiculous to be true”.

Turns out it was true. The news spread like wild fire on social media and foreign news outlets. Every news channel made time to mock the ridiculousness of the story. In this age of technology? The president confirmed he had sanctioned this transfer and some members of his cabinet didn't seem to see the big deal.

John Boye kissing his share of the booty

By this act, they had managed to caricature the whole nation till not one drop of respect was left to save face. One TV station, Globo, in Brazil managed to broadcast live the landing of the money plane by planting secret cameras somewhere. Apparently, the Brazilian government also insisted on counting the money so it could be taxed properly so the counting was also shown live on TV.  The sharing of the money was also shown live on TV. One player was shown kissing his share of the booty as he came out of the money room. The next day Ghanaians were the butt of all jokes on social media. The money plane saga was so incredulous that a Hollywood director is think of making a movie out of it. We lost to Portugal in our last game completing our disgraceful outing. There was still time for a bonus act as there was some controversy even about them coming home. It’s not like we didn't see all this coming before the tournament.

Mama we made it! pic.twitter.com/JnFI2WFeH0
— THE egyir (@The1TheyCall_E) June 25, 2014

Charle we made the news everywhere for all the wrong reasons pic.twitter.com/A7O7VNejmT
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) June 26, 2014

Meanwhile, back in Ghana, everyone was going on strike (or threatening to) due to unpaid wages. Polytechnic Lecturers at the time this post is being written have been on strike for 7 weeks. Not a single f*$k has been given about their strike. I’m not even sure the Government knows they are on strike because no serious attempt has been made to address their concerns. We can fly $3 million in 2 days to Brazil to satisfy under-performing footballers but can’t pay whatever pittance lecturers are asking for?

Then it was announced that on the first of July, Electricity tariffs would be increased by 12%, water by 6% and fuel prices were also expected to go up. This prompted a movement of social media #OccupyFlagStaffHouse which led to a demonstration. Police armed to the teeth tried to prevent this peaceful demonstration but failed. While the demonstration was going on, members of the president’s cabinet (Hannah Tetteh and Joseph Yammin) found time to mock the protesters further proving how far removed politicians are from the suffering of regular folks.

But this isn't my most ridiculous story of the past two weeks. Government has managed to secure a loan of $156 million to help support the educational sector. Part of the loan would be used for scholarships, new building and… wait for it… providing sanitary pads for female high school students. I swear I didn't make that up! This news sparked some hilarious comment and memes on social media to cap off a ridiculous couple weeks in Ghana. Given the way so many other government interventions have gone, you don't need too much of a stretch of the imagination to picture how this program will end.

You these twitter people... 😂 😂 😂 😂 pic.twitter.com/r9EaSR1zu2
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) July 3, 2014

In other news Zoom Lion Group of companied and rLG, are forming their newest subsidiaries to apply for the sanitary pad distribution.
— Edward Tagoe (@ttaaggooee) July 3, 2014

This is insulting. Just shocking RT @NobleQuansah: this creature is also paid with taxpayers money at the presidency. pic.twitter.com/OhmcxqdjFS
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) July 4, 2014

Tweet

comments

The Value is a Shame

I don't really understand all what these experts talk about when discussing the economy. All I know is that at the beginning of 2013, Fan Yogo (Ice cream) was 50p and by the end of 2013 it was GhȻ1.00. The price of everything went up by at least 100% and yet at the end of the year, smug faced politicians were all over the radio and TV telling us how good the economy was.

I knew there was going to be trouble in 2007 when the cedi was re-denominated. The problem is that Ghanaians hate any form of mathematics that isn't a simple multiplication or division by the number 10. Decimals just freak us out! The conversion from the old currency to new was;

(Old cedi)/10000 = new cedi

The first problem with this was the Ȼ50 and Ȼ20 coins disappeared and the Ȼ100 coin became the 1p which was the smallest denomination. The 1p was discriminated against right from the beginning. It created the uncomfortable problem of having prices like GhȻ2.7 something, as I said, Ghanaian absolutely loathe. People immediately started rounding prices to the nearest multiple of 10. Even the 5p coin was discriminated against. Prices started jumping ridiculously no thanks to this. Back then, the cedi the value of the cedi to the dollar ($1) was  around Ȼ10,000 (GhȻ1.00).

I remember then President Kufuor on TV smiling and making a rather dry joke about how the cedi was now equal to the dollar. Yeah, right, all we had to do was drop four significant zeros.

I used to be able to feel good about myself when I gave Ȼ5000 collection at church or when an Uncle gave me Ȼ10,000.00. Now Ȼ5000 is 50p and even beggars ask for GhȻ1.00 (which used to be Ȼ10,000) with straight faces. 50p is what you pay for the shortest distance by public transport. I'm not even that old and I am already missing the 'Good Old Days'.

Right now, the 1p coin is a critically endangered species that is not legal tender anywhere except Shoprite in the Accra Mall. There, everything costs an annoying Something-something and 99p. They always give you the impotent 1p coin giving a whole new meaning to “Change is constant”.

ten 1p coins is not equal to 10p, just 10 worthless coins, sad RT @bisola_inexile: My 1 pesewa coins. Still growing. pic.twitter.com/QmAFq3g0ba
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) February 22, 2014

Fast forward to the not so distant future passed, 2013 and the 'new' cedi was a mess! The price of fuel went up almost every two weeks and with it the price of everything else. Utility tariffs went up but utilities services became irregular. The only thing that stayed constant was salaries! Minimum wage is officially pegged at GhȻ5.24(currently just under $2) but many people earn far less than that.

The cedi depreciates against the Dollar everyday so people stopped quoting prices of anything which mattered (which is everything) in Dollars. Rent, School fees and even in some case medical bills. For a while one couldn't be sure what the official currency of Ghana was anymore. The dollar at is now Ȼ2.41 (Feb 14, 2014)

Can someone please explain to me how in one of the top Cocoa producing countries in the world the average person can't afford to buy chocolate or chocolate products? All the explanations I've heard so far make no sense to me. That's like telling me Bill Gates' kid can't afford a computer because Microsoft only make the Operating System but not the Hardware. Any justification makes no sense. But that is Ghana for you. Nothing makes an iota of sense so when oil was discovered in 'commercial' quantities and we were promised a better life by these politicians, I laughed.

With the economy shamelessly wallowing in filthy, people started looking answers everywhere. That it when things moved from frustrating to ridiculous. Ghanaians are a very religious and superstitious bunch so of cause, every problem should have a spiritual root.

The National Women’s Organizer of the Ruling NDC, Anita Desooso, went on radio and blamed the fall of the cedi on dwarfs, black magic andother malicious evil spirits. *Pause*; Yep, she actually said that. So the abysmal state of the economy wasn't due to the mismanagement of successive governments and most recently by her party the NDC? Seems Legit. Next, famous Nigerian Pastor asked Ghanaians to pray for the cedi because he foresaw a massive economicdown turn for Ghana. Wait, what?! It was going to get worse? Who could have predicted that? It is not as we knew that things were bad. Then Superstar Man-of-God Archibishop Duncan William made the news (once again) when he “commanded the cedi to rise”. Everyday a new Spiritual leader pops up with some expert advice or solution for the demise of the cedi. The cedi's plight is that bad. Most recently, one Pastor actually threatened to drag the ruling party (NDC) to court if the party fails to offer him the position of Spiritual and Special Advisor to the President. I couldn't make this up even if I tried.

We await the Lazarus moment of the cedi, it past the customary 3 days required for resurrection but with all these men of God praying, we remain optimistic.

Tweet

comments

Jewel Ahiable and the MV Iceberg 1 Crew

I won't be too surprised if you are a Ghanaian and haven't heard the name Jewel Ahiable or heard his story. Frankly I would never have heard of him if he wasn't my girlfriend's cousin. A quick Google search will have you wondering how and why you haven't heard his story. This is a real life Captain Phillips story.

On March 29, 2010, the Ship MV Iceberg 1 was captured by Somalian Pirates who demanded a $10 million ransom to release the ship and its crew. At the time of the attack, the Panamanian-flagged ship had a crew of 24, made up of 8 Yemenis, 6 Indians, 4 Ghanaians (Jewel Ahiable, Edward Kofi Asare, Francis Koomson Senior and Prince Agbo.), 2 Sudanese, 2 Pakistani and 1 Filipino. The ship owners refused to pay the ransom and this beganthe longest held hijacked ship in modern history.

From March 29, 2010 to December 23, 2012 the crew members were held and tortured. They were permitted to make occasional desperate phone calls to the outside world to describe their plight – a way for pirates to apply pressure in the negotiating process – but for two years and nine months of captivity, nobody answered their pleas for help.

The families of the Ghanaian captives tried to petition the Ghanaian government at the time to help bring the captives home but they were constantly frustrated by the 'Powers that be' and by bureaucracy. According to the government they didn't want any public attention around the incident so that the pirates didn't get too excited.

I've attached a soundcloud audio of Jewel Ahaible and the other crew members narrating their ordeal on Citi FM after their rescued.

audio edited by Esianyo Kumodzi 

At the time of the rescue Ghanaians were still reeling from the death of President Atta Mills and the tension around the December 7^th election was still fresh. The news of their rescue would definitely have lifted the mood of the country. I've seen on TV the kind of reaction that followed the rescue of people in perilous situation. The Chilean Miners' rescue and the Hiatian Man found 11 days after the Earthquake being examples.

Since the Government did not contribute anything whatsoever to their rescue and return, the least they could have done was welcome them and created some sort of fan-fair about their rescue but no. They arrived quietly with just Citi FM and their families to meet them. In fact, their rescue was celebrated by Somalians and not Ghanaians. They were hosted by the Somalian President and rode in luxury cars on the streets of Somalia with people cheering them everywhere.

After 3 years of being tortured they received no compensation or the pay due them during the period. The company that owned the ship owed them a few months pay before the ship set off and that hasn't been paid yet. The 4 Ghanaian have tried on many occasion to get the money due them. They've tried to petition the government and relevant bodies but to no avail.

Tweet

comments