Sunday, 9 April 2017

Prequel to Boat Race 3 (Operation Delta Forces)

After two successive abysmal performances at the Boat Race, people were fed up. People started complaining about how they couldn’t take the constant disgrace of coming last in every race. Various “Think Tank” groups had been formed that focused on explaining to people why the current coach and management body of the team needed to go. There were regular public symposiums with themes focused on the financial implications of taking part in the race, others focused on historic performances of the past.

People would now gather in parks discussing the first boat race the nation ever took part in and how the participants were patriotic and how despite limited resources, they had won the boat race against teams with better technology, against all odds. The good old days were all people talked about. People who weren’t old enough to know about the said good old days talked about it with such passion that one would have thought they lived it. That winning team was nicknamed the Golden Generation.

Eventually, the citizens decided it was time for change. The current team had spent millions on a luxury yacht for the last race and had still come last. There was a team that had been begging to be allowed to represent the nation for a while and most people started to agree they had nothing to lose. After all, it wasn’t like they could do any worse than being last.

It was decided that the two teams would be given a chance to convince the people at a town council meeting. The general consensus among the people was that the Elephant team was to be given a chance to represent the people at the Boat race. The only people who thought the Umbrella team would be given the mandate were the Umbrella people.

Though the people had assured the Elephant team of their support, the Elephant team, used to being disappointed decided to sell a bit of their souls to the Devil in exchange for a guaranteed victory. The Devil in turn gave them the Delta forces, a malevolent and mischievous team that went on to, by what can’t be explained by logical reasoning, help them win the mandate of the people.

So the deed was done. Elephant team was now going to represent the people. The new team immediately out-doored the boat that would be used for the next race. It was an exact replica of the boat the Golden Generation had used. People were inspired. The Golden Generation team had been made up of six rowers and a leader who was the navigator and strategy coordinator. The boat could technically take twenty people but for best results a smaller and more efficient team was advisable.

When the Elephant team announced the people who would actually be rowing in the race, people got a bit confused. The rowing team was made up of twenty four people and one leader even though the boat’s maximum capacity was twenty. Quite a lot of the rowers looked like they were past their prime and didn’t really inspire confidence.

According to the leader of the Elephant team, all twenty four rowers were experts in various fields necessary to win the race. One old man was an expert in Bernoulli’s principle, another an expert in Archimedes principle, another a marine Biologist and so on and so forth. Even though the people weren’t quite sure of what those titles had to do with boat racing, they were mightily impressed by the big words they couldn’t understand.

The Umbrella team tried to make a scene and point out that there was no way the Elephant team could win the race with such a team but after years of incompetence, no one really cared about their opinion. The people were once again quick to point out that, the new team couldn’t possibly do worse than the last.

The Elephant team started training for the race which was a few months away. On the first day of training, it was noted that the team was one oar short. The twenty four people somehow managed to squeeze in the boat and sit twelve at each side with the leader dangerously balanced at the front deck. The boat was barely afloat and because one side was one oar short, the rowing didn’t go very smoothly.

There was a man on the beach shouting at them, “there are too many people in the boat” and the leader shouted back, “I know what I’m doing”. Rumor had it that that man was once a member of the Golden Generation but you know rumors, there are no ways to verify.

The next day at training two more oars were missing but the team went ahead and filled the boat. Now there were three people without oars. The rowing was even more unbalanced than the previous day and the extra three plus the leader were now just dead weight.

The third day another two oars were missing. At this point, the leader was starting to get worried so he went to a famous shaman who told him that the Delta forces that had helped them win the people’s favor were restless and now without a sense of purpose. Being the mischievous spirit they were they had now resorted to stealing their oars. When the leader asked the Shaman what he could do to pacify the forces, the Shaman said, “the answer lies within you” then charged the leader an obscene amount of money for the consultation.

The Boat race is in a few months. Everyday team Elephant shows up at the beach to train and no matter how many times they replace the oars, they are at least one oar short. The boat looks like it can barely hold the weight of all twenty four rowers plus the leader but they insist they know what they are doing.

People have started becoming skeptical about the chances of the new team in the next boat race but some have pointed out the new team can’t possibly do worse than the last. Some aren’t so sure.

Boat race is in a few months, we live to see.

Delta Forces by @BRIGHTACKWERH
This is a follow up to two previous posts on this Blog:
Boat Race 1: A Political Parable
Boat Race 2: A Political Parable