Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Flawed Educators and Educated Fools

I hate chemistry. I would like to thank my first chemistry teacher, Mr. Anyigbah for instilling in me this incurable dislike for the subject.

We had just arrived in Secondary School with a lot of enthusiasm, too much confidence in our intelligence and the desire to stamp our authority on the class. Everyone was the most intelligent student from his previous school, or at least that's what they'd have us believe. There was one particular stubborn guy called Frank, everyone called him Fire (even the teachers). Right from the first day he established himself as a noise maker and trouble causer. While some students were learning 'non-sylla'*, Fire would be creating a scene and fall asleep the moment a teacher came in.

First Chemistry class and Mr Anyigbah was racing through the text books faster than our young minds could absorb. When we complained that he was going too fast, he laughed and just went on. Somewhere along the line he noticed Fire sleeping. He woke him up and asked him the most difficult question he could find for a first year. The half asleep Fire woke up, asked for the question to be repeated and uttered a bunch of what appeared to be gibberish and to our surprised, Mr. Anyigbah said, “Correct”. Wow! We those who were awake didn't even understand the question. This sleep and answer question session between Fire and Mr Anyigbah went on for a few week and it became obvious who was the most intelligent person in the class.

After that first class, Mr Anyigbah only asked Fire and no one else question. He would say something like, “If Fire understands, then the whole class understands”. If Fire didn't get the answer correct he would call Fire and stupid boy for intentionally getting the answer wrong and go on without explaining. Mr Anyigbah also took delight in caning us. He would set a test and say anyone one who scored below 70% would be caned. That usually meant 80% of the class. By the time we were through with first year, I absolutely loathed chemistry.

I later found out that in almost every public secondary school had their own version of Mr. Anyigbah, some 'qualified' teacher who took too much delight in frustrating students.

There are somethings no one is going to teach you in class. For example, if you are a computer Engineering student, no lecturer would teach you how to format a Hard-disk but everyone in the world expects you to know that. When you go for a job interview, the panel would ask you things you didn't learn in class but are expected to know. You somehow have to manage to find a balance with these thing. What I came to realize was, “the things that matter mostly don't count in the exams, and the things that count in the exam don't matter in life”.

In the university, I knew a third year computer Engineering student who couldn't partition her hard-disk and had to take it to a social science student to get it done. This said lady was one of the most intelligent student in her class. She wasn't peculiar in this predicament. She didn't seem bothered by this ignorance and didn't seem eager to learn how to.

While waiting for my turn for my job interview, I managed to get a sneak peek of the certificates of almost everyone who was there. My heart sunk. Not that I was a dumb guy but people had really impressive certificates and mine wasn't that great. When it was my turn to face the panel I placed my certificate on the table and the panel didn't bother looking at it. They just started firing questions. “What would you do in so so and so situation”. I got the job!! There was this particular guy who I was sure would get the job, he didn't. I was later told he performed so poorly that they didn't ask him the full range of questions before letting him go.

Our Education system, flawed educators and educated fools


*non-sylla - Topics that are not included in the syllabus but are studied by students to impress other students 

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Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Call Me Ambassador, not Honorable...


After failing in his bid to become the Member of Parliament for Abuakwa North, Victor Smith was recently in the news. According to Mr Victor Smith, he didn't appreciate people referring to him as “Honorable Victor Smith”. He preferred to be addressed by his proper title “Ambassador”, never mind the fact that he's no longer the Ambassador to the Czech Republic or anywhere else for that matter. In his opinion, he was above the title “Honorable”. Up until then, I didn't even know there were title rankings.

Ghanaians love their titles. The only other group of people I know who love titles as much or perhaps more than us are our neighbors the Nigerians. Ghanaian love titles so much they make up titles where there are none and often get offended if they aren't addressed with those titles.

A Nigerian Title: Friend of the Governor

Self made titles seem to be the specialty of Pastors who form their own churches. Gone were the days when one had to spend long years in Bible School just to become a Pastor. The Pastor then had to serve for some 10 years to become a Reverend and the titles got better only with years. These days any post pubescent young man with a congregation of 5 can call himself a Reverend. Some become Reverends overnight. Then there are the Reverend Doctors, Right Reverends, Right Reverend Doctors, Bishop, Archbishops, Apostles, Prophets etc.

However, the acquisition of titles overnight is not the sole monopoly of 'Mushroom' Pastors. In Ghana, we have a Comedian called Bishop, a boxer called Professor and in the neighborhood I grew up in, a cobbler called Doctor.

The people most sensitive to titles are those who actually earned them especially academically. You can't blame them, it's not easy studying for so long. In the University, there was a certain lecturer in a certain faculty who had 3 PhDs and also happened to be a chief. His students called him Dr. Dr. Dr. Nana X (where X replaces his surname and Nana is the title for chiefs). If you ever happen to go to a Ghanaian program and the Chairperson is being introduced, all his titles have to be mentioned and if possible, where he got them from. If the MC forgets to mention one title, the chairperson will correct that mistake upon assuming his role. He would say something like, “The MC didn't mention it but I also have a PhD in Pharmacology from Birmingham University in the UK”.

This whole title craze is not restricted to people but also to institutions. It's hard to find a Junior High School these days that is not an International School or International School Complex and every nursery school is a Montessori. Every Church is International, every shop a Super Market, every chop bar serves continental dishes and the list goes on. Everyone is claiming one title or the other.

Titles are part a part of the Ghanaian upbringing. Calling people who are older than you or in higher positions by their names is taboo. You have to call them Uncle or Auntie if they are significantly older than you. You put a “Brother, Bro or Sister” before their names if they are a few years older. In the secondary schools, you could be seriously punished for not adding “Senior” to a senior's name. I remember calling my Dad by his nickname one day. Unknown to me a concerned citizen heard this and even though my Dad didn't mind, this concerned citizen took offense and later gave me a long lecture on being respectful to adults. The lecture included random Bible verses and Ephesians 6:1-3 was quoted more than a few times.

The irony/hypocrisy of this Blog post isn't lost to me. My name is Dela but most people refer to me as Efo Dela. “Efo” being a title of the Ewes for an older or influential male. 





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Friday, 1 March 2013

Time Is Relative



I'm not sure who decided to put Ghana on the 00:00 time zone but that was a stroke of genius. This is a country where time means nothing, time is literally 00:00. The average Ghanaian's concept of time is hard to explain. For any given event, people are either likely to be outrageously early or frustratingly late. Very few if any at all will be on time. There's no known formula to calculate how early or how late people will be.

During my research for this article, I came across a previously undiscovered document that stated that Albert Einstein first came up with his famous relativity theory after being frustrated by a Ghanaian who was always randomly late from what could be a few minutes to a few hours. One day out of frustration, Einstein just screamed, “DO YOU THINK TIME IS RELATIVE?”, and the Ghanaian, nonchalantly, replied, “Yes”.

When there are queues or food (or any kind of freebies) involved, most people will hours early. For example, the Presidential Elections was supposed to start at 07:30 on December 7, 2012. At some polling stations, long winding queues had already formed as at 23:00 December 6, 2012. People had brought mattresses from their home and were sleeping in queues. Meanwhile, at that time, the election officials were in their homes sleeping soundly. People were over 12 hours early for the polls! At 07:30 when the election officials were supposed to be at the station, most of them were no where to be found. Voters were 12 hours early, officials were 2 hours late at some stations. People would be late for weddings but slip out of the church early to the reception hall just so the can get a good place to sit when the refreshment is being shared.

Ghana Commercial Bank (GCB) have given the popular saying, “Time is Money” a whole new meaning. Long queues, poor network and slow tellers have combined to create a unique “Time Sink”. Customers waste long periods of time just to withdraw their own money. Sometimes, after waiting long hours, they are left disappointed and have to come back later to endure the same frustration.

I remember being broke in the University (KNUST) and getting a cal from my Dad that he had sent me some money through GCB. I went to meet a long “snaking” queue in the small banking hall. After waiting for about two hours the queue had barely moved. A teller told us later that the network was having problem and would be fixed soon. Another two hours would pass and out of frustration many people left the bank. I was too broke to go back so I kept waiting till it was left with about 30 people in the bank and the network mysteriously started working. After 4 hours of waiting I finally got my money. With GCB, “It Pays To Wait”, literally.

Being late is a socially accepted norm, in fact being on time seems strange to most people. Christians especially are notorious for being late. Sometime ago, doctor was invited to my church to give a talk. The talk was supposed to be at 19:00. He was there 10 minutes to time and no one was there. He waited till 19:30 then left. 20:00 and people started trickling into the church and people were actually surprised to hear the doctor had actually come on time and couldn't wait for them. Instead of the elders chastising the congregation, they were angry at the doctor (who was supposed doing a talk for free) for leaving.

I was watching a documentary about lateness in Ghana on TV3 a while back and a gentleman was asked why he was often late to work. The man said every morning, there was a lot of traffic on the route that led to his work place so he usually waited till the traffic had reduced before he left the house (he worked at the Ministries). I remember laughing for quite a while. When I was doing my National Service (in the public sector) I found that this was a common practice. Someone didn't come to work early because the porridge seller in his area came at 08:00 so he had to wait and buy some before work. Someone had to listen to sports news at 07:30 before coming to work. Everyone seemed to have a 'valid' reason for coming to work late but the moment it was 17:00 they were out. No one had a reason to stay any longer than they had to.

Scheduling an appointment can sometimes seem like bargaining in the market. What time can we meet, and people will say, “3, 3:30, 4”. If you ask what specific time the person won't have a clue about what you mean by “specific”. After giving you this strange time range, the person would most likely show up for the appointment at 4:30.

Time and tide might wait for no man but most Ghanaians don't care. In fact, most people just don't have time for time. If time can't wait for the Ghanaian, the Ghanaian doesn't care. After all, “Time is Relative”.


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Thursday, 28 February 2013

Ghana Social Media Awards (Vote for Me)




Blogging Ghana launched Ghana's first Social Media Awards last year to honor the best Ghanaian bloggers for the year 2012. Different blogs were nominated under different categories. 

Thanks to nominations by my fans and readers, my Poetry blog efodela.blogspot.com was selected under the “BEST BLOG” category (YEAH!!!!!). This nomination feels really good.

To win this I need you all to vote for my blog. It's a simple voting process which wouldn't take too much of you time.

Voting instructions:

  2. Enter your name and email address
  3. Look for “Best Blog” category (i'm second on the list) and select my blog

ganyobinaa.com
efodela.blogspot.com <= THAT'S ME
thejrshow.wordpress.com
africaphotographer.blogspot.com
accradotalttours.wordpress.com
adventuresfrom.com
mightyafrican.blogspot.com
antirhythm.blogspot.com

  1. Click next at the bottom of the page
  2. enter the verification code into the box provided
  3. click submit and you will receive an email. Click link in mail to confirm vote
  4. you can check the results here => http://www.blogcampghana.com/social-media-awards/results/ 

     PS: VOTE PROBABLY WON'T COUNT IF YOU DON'T CONFIRM LINK

    Please Retweet
    Thanks, let's win this!!  

    PS: You can find a list of all my blogged poem at Poem List

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Thursday, 24 January 2013

Blinded By Religion


Road safety experts and doctors advice that drivers do not hang or put little banners or figurines on the drivers mirror or dashboard. This could cause unnecessary distractions or block the driver's view and may cause an accident. Also, figurines and statuettes could further damage during an accident.

This driver had been to so many safety meetings but despite the numerous warnings, he had a figurine of Jesus with both hands raised planted on firmly on his dashboard. You see, he was a Christian and Jesus was there for luck. One day while speeding without his seatbelt, a goat crossed the road and when he slammed the brakes, inertia threw him forward and somehow, he collided with 'little-statue-Jesus' whose two raised hand poked him in both eyes leaving him permanently blind. 

He was blinded by religion, literally and figuratively.

Ghana has a 'God-will-do-it' problem. Most West African countries do but being Ghanaian I will only speak about my country. This problem is not unique to Christians but all three major religions (Christianity, Islam and Traditional).

People ignore safety measures in this country because 'God is our protector' this leads to many avoidable casualties. On December 24, 2012 I had to make a trip from Kumasi to Ho. Apart from the Metro Mass buses and 207 Mercedes Benz buses there's no public transport that plies this route. Given the morbid safety record of 207 buses I chose the Metro Mass. There were so many people at the station that day and instead of the regular two buses to Ho there was only one. People were desperate and the officials took advantage to overload the bus. People were standing and some had we seated on the floor. Soon people started complaining they couldn't breath. I called the metro mass emergency number which didn't work of cause. Thanks to a friend I finally was able to speak to the head office. To my surprise the lady I spoke to went like, “HMMM, IT'S HARD OH, LET'S JUST PRAY NOTHING HAPPENED TO THEM”. I was so stunned as I helplessly watched the overloaded bus move away. Why pray when we were not doing the right thing?

No Ghanaian has ever died of natural cause. This is a fact. Ghanaians die of two main supernatural causes. Either God kills them (the will of God) or some Evil Spirit does. No matter how the person dies, one of these two is the cause. When someone dies of old age, it is the will of God (God killed the person) and when someone not too old dies, one of the devils agents is to blame. Usual some misunderstood person is found and accused of being the devils tool.

When someone is sick, rather than visit a hospital, people would rather visit some sort of spiritualist and get duped out of huge sums of money. It is only when the person is almost dead they rush him to the hospital hoping for the doctor to perform some sort of miracle and save him. If the person dies, the devil is blamed. If the person is saved, the spiritualist who duped them get the credit. The doctor gets no credit.

A Pastor can get away with anything in this country because most people are afraid the wrath of God will rain down on them. They will refer you to

Psalm 105: 15 and 1 Chronicles 16:22
“Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.”

Almost everyday we hear stories of one for of despicable act or another by a “man of God”. The next thing we hear is a bunch of sycophants trying to justify or rationalize his behavior. Either “it was the devil” or “it is not what it seems. You don't know the full story”.

The most annoying thing that religious bodies get away with has to be noise pollution. Churches spring up everywhere in residential areas and make unacceptable levels of noise. All night prayers seven days a week with speakers blasting non-stop. Exhausted hardworking Ghanaians come home from work to rest and can't get a piece of mind in their own homes because some church is praying to God. Anyone who complains is branded an Anti-christ. The authorities turn a blind eye to this ever increasing phenomenon which encourages more churches to join in.

I have no idea why churches in this country don't pay tax. Obviously, the church today is all about profit making. As Rocky Dawuni put it, “...commercializing Jesus Christ, selling tickets to the hereafter...”. When secular musician start to lose their relevance, they quickly switch to Gospel music or become pastors. That is the one place where you can make money off the Ghanaian without being necessarily talented. An untalented secular musician can't make any money but a gospel one can.

I'm a Christian, I believe God will not come down from heaven and do for us what we can do for ourselves. God will not come and give us common sense to discern right from wrong.

Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up





“Most people think,
Great god will come from the skies,
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth,
You will look for yours on earth:
And now you see the light,
You stand up for your rights. Jah!”

Bob Marley

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Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Boat Race



An annual Canoe Rowing Competition was organized between Africa and Europe. The rules were simple; each team was to be made up of seven people and the first team to the end of the river would be declared winner. The teams were to decide among themselves the strategy they would deploy to win the race. They were each provided with a stop watch, money for what ever purpose they wanted and any number of oars they wanted.

The European team appointed one person as the leader and the same person as the time keeper. The leader bought a carton of energy drinks, sandwiches and promised the team an amount of money each if they won the race.

He formed a team of four rowers and two backs ups who would relieve two of the rowers a one third of the journey and the relieved workers would take over from the last two when they were two thirds way through the journey. At every time two rowed on the left and another two on the right. The leader did nothing except keep time and once in a  while utter give a few motivational words.

The African team elected a leader who in turn appointed an assistant, a time keeper and a motivational speaker. The remaining three were to be rowers. A box of cabin biscuits was the refreshment. The leader, his assistant, the time keeper and the motivational speaker were not to take part in the rowing.

The race began and the fans cheered and waited expectantly. The European team started a bit slowly but the leader kept motivating his team till gradually they picked up speed.

The African team started furiously and took a head start but soon problems began to arise. Since there were two rowers on one side and one on the other side, the rowing wasn't well balanced and the boat kept moving in one direction. The leader and his assistant kept berating the rowers and the motivational speaker kept using big words the poor rowers couldn't understand. The weight of the four executive members also added extra burden to the rowers. To make matters worse the rowers got hungry and eating cabin biscuit made them thirsty.

The European team arrived at the finish line a good three hours before the African team arrived. The leader of the European team true to his word gave the rest of the team some money as a reward for winning though he kept a large portion for himself.

The African team arrived later fighting among themselves. On arrival at the finishing line the leader formed a fact finding committee made up of himself, his assistant, the time keeper and the motivational speaker. The committees' duty was to ascertain the cause of the loss. Money was spent on refreshment and sitting allowance. The committee came to the conclusion that:

  1. the rowers had been lazy
  2. some of the rowers had intentionally sabotaged they race
  3. the team should have had a navigator
It was decided that the three rowers be fired. Three new people were hired. One of them was to be a navigator and the other two were to be rowers. The two rowers were to start immediate training in preparation for next years race.


Wednesday May 4, 2011

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Thursday, 20 December 2012

Ghanaian History

On 19th December I along with a few friends started the #GhanaianHistory twitter trend. Here are some of the really hilarious tweets.

These tweets are embedded so feel free to retweet or follow their owner.
Join the fun, leave a comment





































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