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Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Ghanaian Trolls, Almost All You Need to Know

Trolling is an art and I don't mean to brag but i'm good at it. I was trolling long before trolling was cool. Social media just gave me the platform to take my talent to places that hitherto I couldn't. Back in the old days, trolling was considered a noble art and us trolls had a lot of respect. These days, the profession is full of glory hunters who have no respect for the etiquettes of the job. The rise of these glory hunters has led to a sort of uprising from the trolled.

If you have to use profanities or insulting words then trolling is not your calling. If you have to think too long for a witty come back, trolling is not for you too. True troll’s stings are instant and comes from using their targets words or mistake against them. In a way a troll is a predator lurking somewhere near by just waiting to pounce.

Most of best Ghanaian trolls reside on twitter. It's amazing how much sting one can fit into 140 characters or less.


Meme Makers
@Qwestmatic and @Mike_Nkansah were meme lords extraordinaire long before the "abrokyire" memes, vines and GIFs flooded the local meme industry. Like the cheap imported Chinese fabrics that have virtually collapsed the local textile industry, these foreign memes have threatened to kill the local meme-generating sector. These two, in addition to the new-age cohort of meme-generators have, however, held their own by providing Gh Twitter with all-purpose as well as specific memes.

Long before I knew they were called memes, @QwestMatic was making them. Qwest is the Rumpelstiltskin of memes. He turns innocent looking pictures into hilarious memes. He'll make you famous for reasons you might not be too pleased about. His meme are not generic memes of people who live far off in other countries.  They are of people well known on Gh twitter. By crudely photoshopping regular pictures, he’s able to caricature even the most respectable people and turn them into laughing stocks. He introduced us to twitter story telling an art which has become popular especially after any twitter organized event or controversy.
The secret to being a renowned meme legend probably lies in having a huge meme arsenal or the ability to generate one within a time that the tweet it is in response to is still viable. These trolls can even fit a meme to your harmless "Good morning" tweet and invite "strangers" into your mentions with their [insert laughing and crying emoji].

Meme generation is a high level specialist troll group which requires the actors in this group to identify and highlight the funny undertones in supposedly ordinary everyday photos like Twitter event shots and your Facebook "blasts-from-the-past" photos. A picture says a thousand words, but a picture with words say a thousand and one words; that is how influential these troll memes can be.

 Sports Trolls:
Meet @Stayne_ a Manchester United fan who lives to torment Liverpool Fans, Arsenal fans and any other fan that dares to usurp his dear club's throne. This fellow takes more pleasure in seeing rival teams lose than seeing his own team win.  In the 2013/2014 Premier League season, Man U led by David Moyes were having a terrible season and Liverpool looked all set to win the league. For Stayne, the thought of Liverpool winning the league hurt far more than his team at seventh place. Liverpool somehow managed to throw away their lead thanks to a slip by their captain and talisman Stevie Gerrard.

The misery of Liverpool fans nourished him. He took great joy in reminding Liverpool fans how Man U castaways like Bebe, Don Fangzhuo and the likes had more premier league medals than their great captain. 
His account was recently suspended for five days after Liverpool fans worldwide reported him as spam. After the account was unblocked, he continued where he left off, unrepentant. He' is like a plague, sent by the gods of football to torment everyone else. 

Snake Under Grass:
They look like mild mannered tweeps until they are not. Their Clark Kent to Superman transformation always catches you by surprised. Meet @Quasiadu, snake under grass troll numero uno. He's the puppet master behind the Against Supporters Union (ASU).  He and his legion of trolls only exist to cheer whichever team is playing against your favorite team. The 2013/2014 EPL season was filled with glory days thanks to David Moyes and Stevie Gerrard. Jose Mourinho going trophiless was an extra bonus.

The Snake Under Grass' favorite victims are other sports trolls. Members of ASU were constantly pitching camp in Stayne's mentions.

@Quasiadu and @Stayne_ achieved international notoriety during the London Olympic games when Nigeria played against the USA in basketball. Their constant trolling of the Nigerian team's abysmal performance didn't sit too well with Nigeria twitter. This led to a fully fledged war between Gh and 9ja twitter. At the peak of the hostilities, these two left the battlefield for some high ground so they could admire the chaos. Nero, watching as Rome burned.

Grammar Nazis:
That’s what everyone calls them, probably because they want to purge the world of all bad grammar users. These groups of trolls are mainly opportunistic hunters. They mind their own business till someone makes a spelling mistake or grammatical error then they pounce. There used to be accounts that were solely dedicated to this form of trolling but they seem to have faded away. Grammar Nazis are probably the most tolerated kind of troll, that is until you are the one being trolled.
I’ve noticed that the quality of English written on twitter has improved a lot late. Either the trolls have scared people into writing proper English or they driven the bad nuts away. Once in a while though, you still find someone writing something so terrible, you can’t help trolling no matter who you are.

Once in a while, someone types some gibberish that even the Grammar Nazis refuse to touch.

Religious Trolls:
Religious trolls fall into two categories, Atheists and Christians. For some reason people of other religions don't seem to troll as much and Atheists seem more interested in hounding Christians.
The Christian troll's favorite word is “Blasphemy”. They can't take a joke. They appear uninvited in conversations that have nothing to do with them and start asking you to repent. These are not your regular Everybody-is-Holy-on-Sunday-Christians. When they are not hounding everyone else with random Bible verses, they are tweeting things like, “The sun doesn’t shine at night so retweet if you love Jesus”.


All atheists on twitter seem to know each other and the moment one of them enters your mentions, there rest follow and pitch camp. I really don’t get the Christian versus Atheist debate. The Christians won’t be convinced there is no God and the atheists won’t be convinced there is.

In the end, they are more alike than they like to admit. They are all trying to shove their opinions down your throat.  

Technically there’s a third group. The confused ones. They are on the atheist bandwagon because they think it’s cool but don’t understand the basic principles. Funny thing is they are more aggressive than the true atheist and are always in an argument with someone and contradicting themselves. You have to admire their misguided determination.
Bloggers and Mixtapers:
Technically these guys should be considered as spammers but let’s just call them trolls. The only difference between Bloggers and Mixtapers is that you probably follow the Blogger and have no idea how the Mixtaper appeared in your mentions. Mixtapers are among the most slandered people on Gh twitter but they have tough skins and don’t really mind the abuse.

Annoying People and Parody Accounts:
This account, @SkuBoye, is rated 18, NSFW and generally anything that children shouldn’t be looking at. He account was suspended but he came back with another and just continued being annoying. His over the top trolling of has led to some really epic responses from some Ghanaian celebrities.
Jon Germain's respond to SkuBoye's tweet led to the hashtag #JonGermainCanFind

@pweedyella is not as X-rated as @SkuBoye but no less annoying. I’m not sure if the person behind the account is a he or a she but the person definitely has no sense of moderation when it comes to trolling.

@YesiYesiGhana:
As far as I know this is the only spoof site in Ghana.  They take serious topics and turn them into jokes. In a country where serious topics are a joke anyway, this account isn’t running out of topics anytime soon. It’s always interesting when people take a story from YesiYesi seriously. Very often, news sites will take a story from this spoof account seriously and repost it as news. Your favorite Ghanaian politician or celebrity has probably been ridiculed by YesiYesi more than once. 

Do Not Feed the Trolls:
Do not fight with trolls unless you can knock them out. People might not be paying attention to what is going on but will drop everything to come watch a fight. They might not agree with what the troll is saying but will immediately gang up on you if you get abusive.

However, if you manage to give the troll a good punch they will carry you shoulder high and then turn on the troll. Twitter folks are fickle. They are just here for the thrill. Whoever is providing it gets their support regardless of who is right or wrong.
@NiiLexis spent a lot of time trolling Guinness until one day this happened...
Unfortunately, the Guinness Ghana account was closed down not long after but they definitely gained the respect of Gh twitter folks after that epic comeback.

@Kwakutii: 
By popular request I'm adding this guy, sigh. I really want to say something nice or funny about this guy but I keep drawing blanks. There are annoying people, there are arseholes and then there is @Kwakutii. From all indications he's an intelligent guy but as someone said, he doesn't have 'Efie Nyansa' (wisdom). His insensitivity, ridiculously entrenched positions and know-it-all attitude rapidly earned him infamy on Gh twitter. This guy just gave trolls a bad name.

This guy was was the most blocked person on Gh twitter. From celebs to sports men and even people who knew him personally, everyone was blocking him. I'm not sure why I followed him for so long but I finally had to block him after he made some insensitive remarks to a friend about a family member she had lost less than 24 hours earlier. His account is no longer active on twitter, I don't know if twitter suspended his account or what but i'm not too perturbed.

Hasta la vista @Kwakutii, you won't be missed

Don’t bother explaining. Twitter folks don’t care. Sarkodie’s Irish cream line at on BET Chypher was a trolls delight and Sarkodie’s attempt to explain it led to more trolling than he expected.

 Follow these accounts if you are brave enough but don't say i didn't warn you.


Any other kind of troll i forgot about? Leave that as a comment


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Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Ebola, Rumor has it...

Eating cola nuts cures Ebola, according to rumors flying around in Ghana, at least. First I found this hilarious. Surely, no one would believe this. However, it stopped being funny when I found out how wide spread this rumor was. I heard some radio stations and TV stations had aired this. This is just one of the many ridiculous stories making the rounds about Ebola, AIDS, Cholera and most deadly diseases. The problem with this is Ghanaians tend to believe unfounded rumors more than scientific facts. People will turn down conventional medicine but religiously apply these strange 'remedies' and end up dying with discolored teeth to show for their troubles.

I investigated where these rumors started and found out there was a chain message going round on WhatsApp. One of those annoying, “Forward this to 10 people and see what happens” kind. Why anyone will take those things serious is beyond me. Anyway, so I kept searching and finally came across the name Dr Maurice Iwu, a Nigerian. His claims aren’t supported by anyone else and various medical groups in Nigeria have come out to refute his claims. It took me a whole 10 minutes to find this out. So why couldn’t radio and TV stations investigate before putting these stories out there? Have they forgotten the Fauster Atta Mensah debacle so soon?

Meanwhile, in Nigeria where the cola nut cure is supposed to have originated, they believe salt and not cola nut is the cure for Ebola. Salt sellers couldn’t be more pleased. I heard that people have been adding caps of salt to bathing water. People have taken to drinking salt water and over salting their meals in an attempt to avoid the deadly disease.


Then there are the spiritual solutions. Whenever there's a tragedy that grabs wide attention, all manners of “spiritual gurus” pop up in an attempt to make a name for themselves. Recently, a witch doctor lost his not-so-hard earned reputation when he nearly drowned. He had been called upon to act on his claim that he had incantations with which he could communicate with spirits to release the body of the allegedly drowned afro-pop musician, Castro. The irony. As a Christian, when pastors cash in on disasters for personal glory, I get very angry.

There are two groups of pastors when it comes to cashing in on disasters. There are those who swear they are experts in eschatology and always claim every disaster is a sign of the End Times. These people keep predicting the end of the world and well, we are still here. I’ve heard a few pastors on radio say that Ebola is punishment from God because of homosexuals. Another said it was one of the prophesied pestilences that herald the Second Coming of Christ. This group is generally annoying but not as dangerous as the second group.
The second group, which in my opinion is the more dangerous, is the ‘Miracle Workers’. These pastors claim they can cure anything. A few years ago, there was one group that refused to have their children immunized against poliobecause their religious leaders told them not to. Polio would probably have been completely eliminated if not for such groups.

People are dying from diseases that could have been cured if people sought early help instead of spiritual solutions. Sick people are traveling all the way from Ghana to Nigeria to consult pastors when a hospital is nearer. For me this is frustrating. My opinion is that these religious leaders should be arrested and charged with murder any time one of these people dies. One of the most annoying things about people who seek spiritual solution is, whenever the said patient is about to die, they manage to take the person to the hospital. By which time, it is usually too late for the doctors to do anything. If however, the doctor manages to save the patient, you see them in the churches of these charlatans giving thanks to the pastor for saving their lives.
In recent times, there’s been a new group of conspiracy theorist. Their mantra goes something like, “So-so-and-so disease was created in the lab by white people to kill black people”. For me these people are just entertaining. I love listening to them spew big words and twisted scientific concepts to suit their arguments.
Two Americans are reportedly responding to an experimental Ebola medication.  Obama recently said, the cure isn’t ready for Africa yet. "They conduct dangerous drug trails on unsuspecting Africans all the time but the one that actually works they won’t try on us?", was what one said to me. Conspiracy theorist had a field day. I honestly have no opinion. I just want a proven cure made available.

So if rumors are to be believed, no disease is caused naturally by pathogens. Certainly not Ebola. It’s either spiritual or artificial. People have been advised to stay away from bush meat but knowing they can’t be bothered. They hold fast to their archaic views to either cause panic or to holding on to some ridiculous cure claim.

Anyone who knows me would know I’m a bit of a germaphobe. Ever since the Ebola rumors started I’ve been overdosing on hand sanitizers, bathing every time I get back home no matter how brief I was outdoors and staying away from anything I didn't cook myself.

If you ever meet me don’t offer to give me a hug or handshake. Stay a safe distance and throw me a peace sign. Peace!

what is the strangest thing you've heard about Ebola? Please share

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Friday, 14 February 2014

The Value is a Shame

I don't really understand all what these experts talk about when discussing the economy. All I know is that at the beginning of 2013, Fan Yogo (Ice cream) was 50p and by the end of 2013 it was GhȻ1.00. The price of everything went up by at least 100% and yet at the end of the year, smug faced politicians were all over the radio and TV telling us how good the economy was.



I knew there was going to be trouble in 2007 when the cedi was re-denominated. The problem is that Ghanaians hate any form of mathematics that isn't a simple multiplication or division by the number 10. Decimals just freak us out! The conversion from the old currency to new was;

(Old cedi)/10000 = new cedi

The first problem with this was the Ȼ50 and Ȼ20 coins disappeared and the Ȼ100 coin became the 1p which was the smallest denomination. The 1p was discriminated against right from the beginning. It created the uncomfortable problem of having prices like GhȻ2.7 something, as I said, Ghanaian absolutely loathe. People immediately started rounding prices to the nearest multiple of 10. Even the 5p coin was discriminated against. Prices started jumping ridiculously no thanks to this. Back then, the cedi the value of the cedi to the dollar ($1) was  around Ȼ10,000 (GhȻ1.00).

I remember then President Kufuor on TV smiling and making a rather dry joke about how the cedi was now equal to the dollar. Yeah, right, all we had to do was drop four significant zeros.


I used to be able to feel good about myself when I gave Ȼ5000 collection at church or when an Uncle gave me Ȼ10,000.00. Now Ȼ5000 is 50p and even beggars ask for GhȻ1.00 (which used to be Ȼ10,000) with straight faces. 50p is what you pay for the shortest distance by public transport. I'm not even that old and I am already missing the 'Good Old Days'.

Right now, the 1p coin is a critically endangered species that is not legal tender anywhere except Shoprite in the Accra Mall. There, everything costs an annoying Something-something and 99p. They always give you the impotent 1p coin giving a whole new meaning to “Change is constant”.
Fast forward to the not so distant future passed, 2013 and the 'new' cedi was a mess! The price of fuel went up almost every two weeks and with it the price of everything else. Utility tariffs went up but utilities services became irregular. The only thing that stayed constant was salaries! Minimum wage is officially pegged at GhȻ5.24(currently just under $2) but many people earn far less than that.

The cedi depreciates against the Dollar everyday so people stopped quoting prices of anything which mattered (which is everything) in Dollars. Rent, School fees and even in some case medical bills. For a while one couldn't be sure what the official currency of Ghana was anymore. The dollar at is now Ȼ2.41 (Feb 14, 2014)



Can someone please explain to me how in one of the top Cocoa producing countries in the world the average person can't afford to buy chocolate or chocolate products? All the explanations I've heard so far make no sense to me. That's like telling me Bill Gates' kid can't afford a computer because Microsoft only make the Operating System but not the Hardware. Any justification makes no sense. But that is Ghana for you. Nothing makes an iota of sense so when oil was discovered in 'commercial' quantities and we were promised a better life by these politicians, I laughed.

With the economy shamelessly wallowing in filthy, people started looking answers everywhere. That it when things moved from frustrating to ridiculous. Ghanaians are a very religious and superstitious bunch so of cause, every problem should have a spiritual root.

The National Women’s Organizer of the Ruling NDC, Anita Desooso, went on radio and blamed the fall of the cedi on dwarfs, black magic andother malicious evil spirits. *Pause*; Yep, she actually said that. So the abysmal state of the economy wasn't due to the mismanagement of successive governments and most recently by her party the NDC? Seems Legit. Next, famous Nigerian Pastor asked Ghanaians to pray for the cedi because he foresaw a massive economicdown turn for Ghana. Wait, what?! It was going to get worse? Who could have predicted that? It is not as we knew that things were bad. Then Superstar Man-of-God Archibishop Duncan William made the news (once again) when he “commanded the cedi to rise”. Everyday a new Spiritual leader pops up with some expert advice or solution for the demise of the cedi. The cedi's plight is that bad. Most recently, one Pastor actually threatened to drag the ruling party (NDC) to court if the party fails to offer him the position of Spiritual and Special Advisor to the President. I couldn't make this up even if I tried.



We await the Lazarus moment of the cedi, it past the customary 3 days required for resurrection but with all these men of God praying, we remain optimistic.


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Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Signs of the End Times (Funny Church Signs from Africa)



It's either the modern African Christian scares the devil or causes him to laugh hysterically. I'm not sure which it is but here are some pictures to help you decide.

If we are in the 'End Times', then these are literally the signs

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Location: Accra, Ghana

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Blinded By Religion


Road safety experts and doctors advice that drivers do not hang or put little banners or figurines on the drivers mirror or dashboard. This could cause unnecessary distractions or block the driver's view and may cause an accident. Also, figurines and statuettes could further damage during an accident.

This driver had been to so many safety meetings but despite the numerous warnings, he had a figurine of Jesus with both hands raised planted on firmly on his dashboard. You see, he was a Christian and Jesus was there for luck. One day while speeding without his seatbelt, a goat crossed the road and when he slammed the brakes, inertia threw him forward and somehow, he collided with 'little-statue-Jesus' whose two raised hand poked him in both eyes leaving him permanently blind. 

He was blinded by religion, literally and figuratively.

Ghana has a 'God-will-do-it' problem. Most West African countries do but being Ghanaian I will only speak about my country. This problem is not unique to Christians but all three major religions (Christianity, Islam and Traditional).

People ignore safety measures in this country because 'God is our protector' this leads to many avoidable casualties. On December 24, 2012 I had to make a trip from Kumasi to Ho. Apart from the Metro Mass buses and 207 Mercedes Benz buses there's no public transport that plies this route. Given the morbid safety record of 207 buses I chose the Metro Mass. There were so many people at the station that day and instead of the regular two buses to Ho there was only one. People were desperate and the officials took advantage to overload the bus. People were standing and some were seated on bags the floor. Soon people started complaining they couldn't breath. I called the metro mass emergency number which didn't work, of course. Thanks to a friend I finally was able to speak to the head office. To my surprise the lady I spoke to went like, “HMMM, IT'S HARD OH, LET'S JUST PRAY NOTHING HAPPENED TO THEM”. I was so stunned as I helplessly watched the overloaded bus move away. Why pray when we were not doing the right thing?

No Ghanaian has ever died of natural cause. This is a fact. Ghanaians die of two main supernatural causes. Either God kills them (the will of God) or some Evil Spirit does. No matter how the person dies, one of these two is the cause. When someone dies of old age, it is the will of God (God killed the person) and when someone not too old dies, one of the devils agents is to blame. Usual some misunderstood person is found and accused of being the devils tool.

When someone is sick, rather than visit a hospital, people would rather visit some sort of spiritualist and get duped out of huge sums of money. It is only when the person is almost dead they rush him to the hospital hoping for the doctor to perform some sort of miracle and save him. If the person dies, the devil is blamed. If the person is saved, the spiritualist who duped them get the credit. The doctor gets no credit. 

 
A Pastor can get away with anything in this country because most people are afraid the wrath of God will rain down on them. They will refer you to

Psalm 105: 15 and 1 Chronicles 16:22
“Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.”

Almost everyday we hear stories of one for of despicable act or another by a “man of God”. The next thing we hear is a bunch of sycophants trying to justify or rationalize his behavior. Either “it was the devil” or “it is not what it seems. You don't know the full story”.

The most annoying thing that religious bodies get away with has to be noise pollution. Churches spring up everywhere in residential areas and make unacceptable levels of noise. All night prayers seven days a week with speakers blasting non-stop. Exhausted hardworking Ghanaians come home from work to rest and can't get a piece of mind in their own homes because some church is praying to God. Anyone who complains is branded an Anti-christ. The authorities turn a blind eye to this ever increasing phenomenon which encourages more churches to join in.

I have no idea why churches in this country don't pay tax. Obviously, the church today is all about profit making. As Rocky Dawuni put it, “...commercializing Jesus Christ, selling tickets to the hereafter...”. When secular musician start to lose their relevance, they quickly switch to Gospel music or become pastors. That is the one place where you can make money off the Ghanaian without being necessarily talented. An untalented secular musician can't make any money but a gospel one can.

I'm a Christian, I believe God will not come down from heaven and do for us what we can do for ourselves. God will not come and give us common sense to discern right from wrong.

Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up





“Most people think,
Great god will come from the skies,
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth,
You will look for yours on earth:
And now you see the light,
You stand up for your rights. Jah!”

Bob Marley
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Behold, All Things Have Almost Become New


For most Ghanaian Christian youth, there’s the church your parent attend which you used to attend and there’s the church you started attending when you went to school. The two churches are so different, sometimes it hard to believe they are the same religion.

In your parent’s church, the choir still wears robes and sings hymn, the instruments include a trumpet, very old drums and probably even an accordion. The Priest still dresses in black, has that white collar thing around his neck and has “back-bush” hair cut. His title is a mere Pastor or at best Reverend and he still gives sermons in King James. During service, half the congregation is fast asleep or engaged in some frivolous conversation. Worst of all, during collection, the church manages to raise only a few hundred Ghana cedis.  

Your church, Something-Something-International, is so cool you don’t even have to call it by its full name; everyone calls it by its acronym, XYZ. The choir is so hip that sometimes the choir master raps during the song. The Bass Guitarist has dreads and wears a pink top. The ladies in the church wear trousers that are one size too small and no skirt drops below the knees. Your Pastor drives an expensive car (by the grace of God) is a Reverend Doctor or maybe even a Reverend Doctor Doctor but he’s so humble he allows everyone to call him by his nickname. During fund raising the church raises more that a few thousand cedis.

I hadn’t seen my parents in a while so when I had one free weekend I decided to visit them. There is no way I was going home for the weekend without going to church. My Dear Mom is one of those super-Christians and staying at home on Sunday is somewhere down there close to first degree murder. I had to psyche myself and prepare for a boring service at my old church.

Sunday morning and I was dressed up looking very holy. See, you can’t go to one of those old churches looking like you are going to a new church. Some random old person would call you aside and give you some words of advice.

The first thing I noticed after being away for two years was that there was a huge colourful sign outside. That wasn’t there the last time. There were lots of new people in the church who thought I was new. Can you imagine that? Where were there when we were still under a shed? I actually noticed a lady wearing trousers! It was baggy but still, trousers all the same. What was going on? The Usher even distributed a program sheet that said service would end at 11:30!! Things had changed in the two years I had been away.

Sermon started and the preacher was teaching on “7 Ways to Financial Success” and everyone was busy writing note. Gone were the boring, “Love your neighbor as yourself” sermons. The Pastor was hyperactive and shouting the sermon. (Why do preachers shout into microphones anyway? Why not just increase the volume?) The sermon was being interjected by random loud “Hallelujahs” and “Preach On”. All this felt strange to me. I was used to this in my new church but not in my old church.

Soon it was offering time and in the queue to the bowl there was this guy dancing like his life depended on it. He would go a few steps forward, twirl, jump and perform all sort of complex feet movement. The problem with this is that, I’m one of those guys who can’t dance. Yep, black man with no rhythm (this is actually considered a disability by some people).  This guy was making me look really bad and I couldn’t wait to drop my money into the bin and hurry to my seat. A few years ago, it would have been a solemn march to the offering bowl.



Offering time in an African Church

It was past 12:00 and it didn’t look like we would close soon. I kept stealing glances at my mobile phone and the program line up. It seems I was the only one worried about the time. Everyone else seemed to be “In the Spirit”.

Finally, it was time for announcements. That is always the last thing so you know closing time was just around the corner. It seemed they had not yet found a way to make announcements a bit more exciting. It was the old boring funerals, mid-week meetings etc all read in a very boring voice. I wouldn’t help but notice that the mid-week activities had increase. Apart from Saturday, every other day was occupied.

I was in a hurry to go home right after the closing prayer but that didn’t happen. Everyone wanted to talk to me. The old-timers in the church would stop me only to talk about my embarrassing childhood moment and tell me how old I had grown. Everyone wanted to know when I was getting married. I spent another 45minutes before finally leaving.

On my way home I noticed another church that hadn’t closed yet. It didn’t look like they would be closing anytime soon. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that I seriously needed to synchronize my watch to God’s time which was obviously the best and had a few extra hours.




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