How Lions became the Rulers of Gaana (a Ghanaian Folktale)

Long long ago, when the Earth was still young, Man and all animals lived at peace in the great forest called Gaana that Mawu Sogbolisa, God of all things, had created.

Man's reign in Gaana was a time of peace and prosperity. The forest flourished and the animals grew fat. In the Forest's hierarchy of Power, after man came the monkeys who despite their mischievous ways were actually very wise, did their jobs well and kept their shenanigans to themselves. Next came the Lions who were creatures of great avarice and power, yet, they too did their jobs.

Somewhere along the line, Man and Mawu had a big falling out for reasons that are now lost to myths and legends. Mawu was so brokenhearted by whatever it was the Man did that he drove him out of the great forest into the wilderness. Then Mawu ascended into the Heavens and the forest was left ungoverned for centuries.

Various religions have their own version on this falling out but no one can say for sure what actually happened. This story is not a story about Man and Mawu's fallout; this is about what happened after.

Things changed when Man was removed from the forest of Gaana. The monkey tribe and the Lion tribe fought a bloody war over Gaana for so long that what was once paradise became a hellhole.

One day the other creatures had a secret meeting at which they decided it was time to once and for all pick one tribe to rule over them. Most of the animals agreed they didn't have the technical know how to rule a great forest and grudgingly agreed to choose between the Monkey Tribe and the Lion Tribe. It was decided that the two tribes would have to convince the animals they were worthy of being the royal family. The elections were to be held on the memorial of Man's treachery which was three months away. The Crow was sent to tell the Monkeys and Lions of this decision.

The Lion tribe immediately launched themselves into campaign mode. They agreed among themselves that they would tell any animal who would listen that they had become herbivores. No Lion was supposed to be seen eating anything but fruits in public. They started spreading the stories through the forest grapevine. Though no animal wanted to believe it they never saw any Lion eating any other animal. When they pointed out that some animals were mysteriously disappearing, the Lions said they saw some of the animal leaving the forest because they missed Man and were going to live with him. There was no proof to suggest otherwise so the animals started to believe Lions were now herbivores.

The Lions also came up with a story about how they had fought side by side with Man in a great war to protect the forest from Sasabonsam and his horde of Demons. No other animal could remember such an incident happening but the Lions repeated this story so often that it became the truth. Soon other animals started telling these stories. The more the story was told, the more fantastic it became.

Meanwhile, the Monkey tribe were busy jumping from tree to tree having and engaging in all sort of mischief. They were constantly seen throwing rotten fruits and sometimes their own faeces at each other and sometimes at passersby. They couldn't be bothered about convincing the other animals to vote for them. In their opinion, they were the animals who looked like Man the most and since the other animals missed Man so much, they would vote for Monkeys as the next ruler.

The older animals who really wanted the Monkey as ruler were disappointed in their tactics and sent a delegation to tell the Monkeys to behave more seriously, at least during the campaign period.

However, when the Monkeys saw the delegation at a distance, they threw rotten fruits at them and wouldn't even get down from the trees to listen to whatever the delegates had to say. On the other side of the forest the Lions were becoming more popular everyday. 

Finally the day of the elections came and all the animals showed up to vote. The Monkeys showed up handing out fruits to everyone and reminding them of how much monkeys looked like man. Everyone in the queue was seen eating a fruit on their way to cast the vote.

That evening when the results were announced, Lions won by a huge margin to the Monkeys surprise. They screamed and protested insisting that the elections were rigged but no one listened.

A fortnight later, the chief Lion was made King of the Jungle and the Lion tribe was declared the royal family. The monkeys went back into the forest and to this day are still throwing rotten fruits and faeces at each other.

This is the story of how Lions and not Monkey became rulers of the forest called Gaana.

The End!

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  

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The Second Book of Dumsor Chapter 3

1 And in those days there lived an irreverent man in the land of Ghana, whose name was Dela who the people called Efo.

2 He was the son of Thywill, the Son of Byhisgrace, the son of Godswill.

3 On the eighth day of the fifth month which was the day before the Sabbath, he journeyed home from the Accra Mall with two companions.

4. And as they talked about the things that had happened in the land, he heard a voice say to him,

5 “Son of Man, thy house and thy neighbor’s house and all the people that live around it thereof are covered in darkness as it was in the days of the plagues of Egypt”

6 and he knew it was the voice of a generator

7 but Efo Dela was perplexed and cast in his mind what manner of madness this should be, “how can it be that I understand the language of Generators?”

8 and the voice said onto him, “let not your heart be troubled Efo, for the fear of Mahama is upon thee and this has made it so”

9  And he trembling and astonished said, “what wilt thou have me to do?”

10 but the voice was silent for the generator had run out of fuel and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

11 Then said one his companions Kwasi bar-Adu, “what manner of wailing is this?

12 And the one of them, whose name was Nii, answering said unto him, “Art thou only a stranger in Accra, and hast not known the things that it is Champions League Night”

13 And Kwasi bar-Adu said, “you fool, that is on Tuesdays”

14 then Efo Dela said in a loud voice, the people wail for they have no fuel in the generator and darkness covers the land.

15 “How doth thou know these things”, they asked

16 “A Generator spake them unto me”, Efo Dela said

17 but they scoffed saying, “Art thou not Efo Dela whom the people of twitter call Amegaxi? And art thou not possessed by the Spirit of sarcasm?” and their unbelief was exceedingly great.

18 as they drew near to home, their eyes beheld the darkness and they looked at Efo and were amazed and their countenance towards him was changed.

19 Now Satan, who is the deceiver, had seen the suffering of Ghanaians, he saw how babes were plagued with heat rashes and how the people suffered to sleep in the heat

20 and he said to himself, “The Lord of host is merciful. For in his anger he casteth me not to Ghana but to Hell. For in Hell though the heat abideth forever the fire provideth light but in Ghana they suffereth heat and darkness”

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Boat Race 2: A Political Parable

The champions of the regional boat race championship were invited to the annual International Boat race. China representing Asia, Ghana representing Africa, Iran representing the Middle East, Russia representing Europe, USA representing North and South America.

Each country set out on the task of designing a boat for the prestigious race. News began to filter in on various international papers and on social media that four Chinese Scientist had designed a boat called 'The Dragon' which traveled at twice the speed of sound. The USA promptly convinced three of the four said Scientist to defect and steal the blueprints for the boat. Minor modifications were made on the blueprints and at a well attended press conference, the US officials announced they had invented a boat called 'The Dragonfly' which moved at twice the speed of sound. They also took the opportunity to accuse Russia of trying to steal their blueprints. An accusation the Russian officials vehemently denied.

The Chinese government who understandably were incensed by this development immediately put in place a national media blackout. All social media sites were blocked and all Internet traffic was scrutinized. They then set out on developing a new boat which was shrouded in lots of secrecy.

Iran pulled out of the race after the US lodged a complaint to the organizers about the boat the Iranians used in their regional championship which was nuclear powered. An angered Iranian cleric was on Al Jazeera saying Iran didn't want anything to do with 'The Great Satan'.

Meanwhile, back in Ghana, officials were at a three-day conference at an plush hotel discussing their plans and strategy for the upcoming boat race. After a two hour delay, a popular musician performed at the opening day and the conference finally was underway. At the end of the three days, the officials decided to take a loan from the USA and use the money to buy a boat from China which would be captained by a Lebanese. The officials, of course, took home hefty per diem.

The Russians decided that they didn't need to design a new boat. The boat used for the regional championship was good enough for the international championship. The old boat was simply called 'The Boat'.

Finally, the much awaited day of the race arrived. The Chinese unveiled a new remote-controlled boat which they called 'Red Moon'. The Red Moon traveled three times the speed of sound and also doubled as a submarine. The USA brought out The Dragonfly which was painted in stripes of Red with scattered white stars. The Dragonfly had a four man crew. A captain, a co-captain and two cabin crews. The Ghanaian team unveiled a Luxury Yacht, called The Black Shark, bought from China with a loan from the USA. The team was made up of seven people one being the Lebanese who was the Captain, Engineer and Navigator. The other six, who were Ghanaians (who did absolutely nothing) came with their family members and two assistants each.

The 100 kilometers race finally began and in a matter of seconds, the Red Moon, the Chinese boat was at the finish line, the Americans in the Dragonfly arrived a few minutes later and the Russians in the Boat arrived about 30 minutes later. One hour after the Russians arrived, the Ghanaians were still nowhere to be found.

The US team, meanwhile was piling pressure on the judges and officials to disqualify the Chinese. According to the team's dapper lawyer, the Red Moon was technically not a boat but a UFO as it was not man-manned. Various experts were brought in to testify on their behalf. The poor judges, overwhelmed by all the technical details, finally decided to disqualify the Chinese much to the fans' disgust.

Two hours after the protests were over, the Ghanaian Yacht, could be heard but not seen approaching the finish line. There was a party on board the Black Shark and the music was so loud it drowned the announcer's speaker even though the boat was still 5 kilometers in the water. Finally, the Ghanaian luxury yacht arrived on the finish line, still in party mood. The leader of the team quickly organized a press conference at which he stated that they were proud of their achievement and of completing the race. According to him, their performance this year was something to be proud of. It broke the national (Ghanaian) record and marked a massive improvement in their performance in last year's race. They were looking forward to next year's.

The medals podium: first USA, second Russia, third Ghana and China, disqualified.  

The Black Shark

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.   

This post is a sequel to another post on this blog, Boat Race.

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Boat Race 1: A Political Parable

An annual Canoe Rowing Competition was organized between Africa and Europe. The rules were simple; each team was to be made up of seven people and the first team to the end of the river would be declared winner. The teams were to decide among themselves the strategy they would deploy to win the race. They were each provided with a stop watch, money for what ever purpose they wanted and any number of oars they wanted.

The European team appointed one person as the leader and the same person as the time keeper. The leader bought a carton of energy drinks, sandwiches and promised the team an amount of money each if they won the race.

He formed a team of four rowers and two backs ups who would relieve two of the rowers a one third of the journey and the relieved workers would take over from the last two when they were two thirds way through the journey. At every time two rowed on the left and another two on the right. The leader did nothing except keep time and once in a  while utter give a few motivational words.

The African team elected a leader who in turn appointed an assistant, a time keeper and a motivational speaker. The remaining three were to be rowers. A box of cabin biscuits was the refreshment. The leader, his assistant, the time keeper and the motivational speaker were not to take part in the rowing.

The race began and the fans cheered and waited expectantly. The European team started a bit slowly but the leader kept motivating his team till gradually they picked up speed.

The African team started furiously and took a head start but soon problems began to arise. Since there were two rowers on one side and one on the other side, the rowing wasn't well balanced and the boat kept moving in one direction. The leader and his assistant kept berating the rowers and the motivational speaker kept using big words the poor rowers couldn't understand. The weight of the four executive members also added extra burden to the rowers. To make matters worse the rowers got hungry and eating cabin biscuit made them thirsty.

The European team arrived at the finish line a good three hours before the African team arrived. The leader of the European team true to his word gave the rest of the team some money as a reward for winning though he kept a large portion for himself.

The African team arrived later fighting among themselves. On arrival at the finishing line the leader formed a fact finding committee made up of himself, his assistant, the time keeper and the motivational speaker. The committees' duty was to ascertain the cause of the loss. Money was spent on refreshment and sitting allowance. The committee came to the conclusion that:

1. the rowers had been lazy
2. some of the rowers had intentionally sabotaged they race
3. the team should have had a navigator

It was decided that the three rowers be fired. Three new people were hired. One of them was to be a navigator and the other two were to be rowers. The two rowers were to start immediate training in preparation for next years race.

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  

Wednesday May 4, 2011

NB: Loosely based on a story i heard as a kid

Find Part 2 here "Boat Race 2: A Political Parable" 

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