Social Media isn't a very forgiving place. We are just waiting for the next blunder to entertain ourselves with. After the Fauster Atta Mensah debacle by GTV, Gh twitter wasted no time mocking Ghana Broadcasting Corporation with the hashtag #InterviewMeGBC started by @dk_osei.
I first heard of Fauster Atta
Mensah on twitter from Spoof site@YesiYesiGhana. At first I thought they had
made up the story so I laughed. Then I watched the video embedded in the
article and I was gobsmacked. Here was a
guy on GTV, the state owned nation, who claimed to be a Nobel Prize Laureate among other things being interviewed. The host of the show took about three
minutes to finish reading his credentials. By then, it was obvious to me the
guy was a fraud. Then they showed pictures of him working at NASA, another with
a robot arm and one in a space suit. I had seen better photoshop done by 15
year olds in under 5 minutes. How on Earth did GTV not see through this? Then
someone sent me a link to the Church of Pentecost’s site another to OMGGhana
all with the same guy. What the Hell was going on? How could anyone be so
gullible?
The video was upload onto the
Ministry of Science and Education’s YouTube Page and later taken down but this
is 2014. The internet never forgets. It had been downloaded many times.
A lot has been written about this
so I will just post the pictures, tweets and facebook post and you can decide.
I don’t know if it was down to lazy journalism or what, you decide.You will find a list of all the webpages he forged on here
Why did GTV allow this to happen. I thought that some of the pictures looked photoshopped. Or is it just me? I'm so confused.
— Kuukuwa Manful (@Kuukuwa_) May 19, 2014
My Dear GTV doesn't have time for mere technicalities like consistency and verification. They just want to wow us. They did 😂😂 @GurlShaaza
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) May 21, 2014
@Amegaxi@fantenyimapa The picture in space then the jet one wound me roughly 😂😂😂😂😂😂
— Sir Josh (@jampadu) May 21, 2014
But if Fauster Atta Mensah faked the CNN & NASA interviews then perhaps he faked the GTV one too. Right? Right??
— Kuukuwa Manful (@Kuukuwa_) May 20, 2014
@Amegaxi In the 1st Pic he's not wearing glasses. So... hypothesis -> he took them from the pocket of his spacesuit and wore them 😂😂😂
— Kuukuwa Manful (@Kuukuwa_) May 21, 2014
@Amegaxi even the way he talks! In the hosts intro, he said his father was a professor. But during the interview, he said missionary!
— Jona Ibrahim (@GurlShaaza) May 21, 2014
@Amegaxi@jampadu but GTV blast paa o! Someone must be held responsible for this embarrasment!
— Ms. Hammond (@fantenyimapa) May 21, 2014
People
keep asking me, “Dela why are you not on whatsapp”. Well aside
the annoying chain messages, my mom is on whatsapp. I remember the
first message I got from her, “Dela, I don’t like your profile picture”. My first reaction was shock, shock that my mom was on
whatsapp in the first place. The fact that she was complaining about
my profile picture wasn't a surprise. If you know my mom, you will understand.
I
had always considered my mom a technophobe and with good reason. It
used to be that any time she wanted to watch a movie, she would shout
for me and I would come connect the VCR to the TV for her. I liked
this arrangement because it gave me some sense of importance and
power. Any time I was upset with her for punishing me, I would change
the connection and go out to play just before she got back from work.
No video for her was her punishment for punishing me. That was long
ago before I grew a beard but I still took comfort in the idea. These
days she only calls me to send a mail to so so and so address for her
or to check her mail.
She
had now gotten a smartphone and was sending her own mail and sending
me whatsapp messages every other minute. She was now independent of
me and I didn't like that. As for my Dad, the least said the better. The old man had become such a big fan of technology that his
current phone is always nicer than mine. He had found a way to trade
his old phones for new ones and was always current. Signs of the end
times! Quite a few of my friends have complained about their now tech
savvy parents.
People
in Ghana are becoming more tech savvy every day. Not as fast as in
Europe or America but they are getting there. Gone were the days
mobile phones were luxuries. Now they are necessities. I remember
when Vodafone, then OneTOUCH started selling SIM, they cost an arm
and a leg. My dad had to write an application and pay a lot of money;
he got his SIM card early because he knew someone who knew some. Now
a SIM card is so cheap even kids can buy them.
Then
came Hi5, then Facebook and all the many social media platform and
everywhere young people were visiting cafes to ‘like’ people’s
status and poke them. We’ve come a long way. Every serious business
has a website. Everyone and their mother has a blog. Everyday someone
is launching his mobile app. More people are reading Computer
Engineering and Computer Science in the University. Ghana 2.0 update
is on!
Still
the biggest challenge to even further tech development in this
country is cost. Recently Vodafone decided to put a limit on data
bundles. Previously, if you bought data for a month, you had
unlimited data till the month was over. Now, you have a certain
amount of data to use which could get exhausted before the month is
over. If you didn’t finish it before the months end, it would
expire and you had to buy new data.
Lots
of time, people have data but can’t browse or the internet is too
slow. This cuts across major the network providers. People are
constantly complaining about network outages. The ISPs do not
compensate you for your lost time.
There’s
nothing in the world more satisfying to today’s youth than free
fast WiFi. A very rare thing in this country. You should see the
unbridled joy on people's face when they get free and fast internet.
Another
challenge is the mistrust of all things new. The banks recently tried
to introduce an electronic payment system call Ezwich. This didn't
catch on very much because people just prefer to handle the real cash
even though the card is safer. I had an Ezwich card but could never
seem to find a shop that had the card reader to accept it.
If
you live in Ghana, you know that getting directions to anywhere is a
chore. Poor street naming means to get anywhere you need a popular
reference point. So you say something like, I'm going to Sytris
bookshop, it's near Papaye at Osu. Recently, I had to go to a
Blogging Ghana meeting at 37 Mensah Wood Road. I didn't know the
place so I entered the address into Google Maps, hailed a taxi and
showed the map to the driver. I know, silly me. All the driver kept
asking me was, “Please, where is it near?” I'm not a great map
reader but Google Maps' direction helped me direct the driver. On
arrival the driver said, I should have told him, “After Shiashi
take the right turn from Galaxy International”.
Our
current President is quite tech savvy. He prefers to read his
speeches from a tablet, has a twitter and facebook account and there
are quite a few selfies of him around the web. The website of the
presidency is updated often (though I'd like the see more information
there) and the other ministry seem to also update their sites
regularly. I remember under the previous president, I went to one
ministry's site and it hadn't been update in over two years.
The
most active politician on social media is the Honorable Hanna Tetteh. She's very active on twitter and replies as many of her
followers as possible. If only more of our politicians were like
her... sigh!
Ghana
2.0 update is on! Let's hope that we don't get the dreaded, “Download
failed at 99%”
MY FAVORITE GHANAIAN APPS:
Kasahorow
Keyboard:
Ghanaian languages have characters that do not appear in
the English alphabets so typing a sentence in Twi or Ewe on your
phone can be a problem. The Kasahorow keyboard which is available in
the Android Play Store (sorry iOS and Windows users) has all these
characters so you can type freely without having to replace É› with 3, Å‹ with n, É” with )or C, Æ’ with f etc. It's free so you don't really have an excuse not to
have it if you are an Android user. Kasahorow is a twi word that
means, “Many Languages”.
Easy
Taxi:
EasyTaxi is a mobile app that as the name implies, make getting a taxi
easy. Rather than stand at the road side flapping your hands at taxis
as we do in Ghana, just get easy taxi. This app is available on iOS
and Android (No idea about on Windows Phone). Just log into the app
where ever you are and turn on your GPS and enter your destination.
The nearest easy taxi to your location will call you back and will be
with you shortly. I must admit when I first used the app I didn't
think the driver would arrive early. The driver arrived five minutes
after the request and I was a bit embarrassed because I wasn't yet
ready. The driver, Isaac, reminded me to wear my seat belt and we
left Kaneshie to Lashibi. Comfortable ride. When I was done with
whatever I went to do, I used the app again to get another ride back
home. Very convenient. Both taxis were very comfortable. It's was a
good experience and I recommend everyone to try it. For now Easy Taxi
operates only in Accra but I'm sure they will spread to other parts
of Ghana soon.
If there's an app or a Ghanaian technology you would like me to check out, you can write about in the comment box and I will check it out. Let me know what you find frustrating or pleasing about technology in Ghana.
Apparently there’s a blog tour
going on and I didn’t even know. I seem to be lost in my own world these days.
Tsatsu (@_tsatsu) is the one who passed the baton to me and I had to go tracing the genesis
of this tour. I should have known Ozionn (@Ozionn) had something to do with it.
What Am I Working On?
I've got two blogs. A poetry one and this one, a satirical one. I’ve not written a poem in a
while but I’ve got a few satirical post cooking. So much crazy stuff going on
these days that I’m spoilt for choices on the satirical front. So many options
that I can’t seem to choose. For me poetry is much harder to write than Satire.
I need a heightened emotion to write poetry.
What Makes My Work Unique?
I’m not sure if my work is
unique. There nothing new under the sun. What makes my work relatable to
however is that I don’t force it. If I’ve got nothing to write then I don’t. If
I don’t like what I’ve written I send it to the bin. I don’t bother trying to
patch it up or revamp it. I either like it or I don’t. It’s either good enough
or it isn’t. I don’t bother doing midway. No grays, just black or white.
Why I Write?
It’s an itch that must be
scratched. Have you had an itch somewhere on your back that you can’t reach?
The frustration! That’s how I feel when I get in the mood to write and for some
reason I don’t have the opportunity or time to write what’s in my mind. It just
keeps bugging me till I finally write it down then I can heave a sigh of
relief.
Writing is a means of relieving
pent up emotions. When I write an angry poem I find that my anger dissipates.
I’d like to say something noble
like, “I write to cause social change”, but that would be a lie. I write mainly
for myself. I’m a bit of an egotists. Nothing inflates my ego more that getting
positive reviews for what I write. If I vent my emotions about something that
bothers me and it causes some positive change in society that’s a byproduct
that goes to feed my ego. I’m only looking to change myself, to be the best
version of me and if that somehow brings the best in others then that’s ok. I not naïve enough to think I can change the
world. I can only change myself and hope others do the same.
How My Writing Process Works?
I just keep writing till I want
to stop. I try not to be bounded by any strict method. Oh, I'm very lazy at proof reading my own work. Typical hypocrite. I see mistakes in other people's work but never seem to see them in mine. If you see any errors, just leave a note in the comment section.
One Person I’ll Pass This on to?
Terry!! He blogs at economistaTerry Delves and for some reason tends to
change his twitter handle often. His current one is @TerryAbban. SMH. Over to you Terry
I'd like to pass it on to Eyram (@Sweyram). She's my favorite lazy blogger but her next blog post will probably come out when i'm 50.
Matthew 8: 20 Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."
I remember talking to a friend in
Europe some years back, she had just turned 19 and she told me she was moving
out of her parents’ house. According to her she was too old to live with her
parents. I was 20 going to 21 and the thought of moving out from my parents’
home permanently hadn’t even occurred to me. When I graduated from University,
it was straight to my parents’ place without a thought. When I got a job in
Accra, far from my parent, I moved in with some relatives and would have lived
there indefinitely if I could. Eventually, I had to move out and find my own
place.
I knew rent in Accra wasn’t cheap
but I didn’t think it would be that expensive. How naïve of me. Everywhere I went,
landlords were demanding 2 years rent advance and agents were demanding 10%
extra of whatever I was to pay the landlord. Each time I did the maths I just
wanted to go back and live with my parents. I finally found a place where the taps
run more than 4 days a week, a luxury in Accra by any standard. After almost
emptying my accounts paying 24 months’ rent advance, I finally moved into ‘my own’
place. That night I couldn’t sleep. I had spent 90% of all my savings in the
last two years in one day!! I couldn’t afford a bed; I bought a mattress put it
on the floor and didn’t even bother with any other form of furniture.
According to the rent law of
Ghana as at 2012, no landlord is supposed to charge more than 6 months’ rent
advance, but this is Ghana. Apart from the male/female sign on public toilets,
no other rule works. In fact, when parliamentarians are getting their exorbitant
undeserved rent allowances, they are given enough to cover 2 years advance. The
law makers are breaking the law, no surprise there.
Towards the end of last year,
President Mahama announced an affordable housing project. Nobody took him
serious. Successive governments have made the same promise from as far back as I
can remember. Generally what happens is, an obscene amount of money is pumped
into the project and less than half way through, the project is abandoned of
some new affordable housing project. If
the project is completed, which is almost never, the buildings are immediately
bought by people with government connections who definitely can afford them and
rented out to those who need them who can’t afford them. People who need these
building will never afford them and those who don’t need them will keep buying
them. In the end, it is “as you were” for everyone.
According to a report by the
Housing Data Centre, Over 70% of workers not likely to “ever” own a home. In my
opinion, that percentage should be even bigger. According to the report, people
who earn below Gh₵4000 per month aren’t likely to qualify for a mortgage. Very
few people earn that and given that houses in Ghana are sold in dollars (US not
Zim), even people who earn Gh₵4000 per month won’t be able to afford buying. This
is getting depressing; let me move to something else.
How about building you own house?
Just last week I heard a bag of cement was being sold at Gh₵25! In 1997 a bag
of cement was the equivalent of 50p. Ok, maybe that is too far back. In March
of this year, a bag of cement was Gh₵20.50. It’s no wonder there are so many
uncompleted buildings wasting away. People budget and start building then
suddenly prices go crazy and they are priced out of completing them.
cement be 25
cedis so guess who's staying with the parents till his children
graduate.me — profit (@kelvinowusu) May
7, 2014
Writing this getting me very
depressed so I’m going to stop. The president says Ghana is not the worstcountry in the world. According to him, it is pessimism that is holding us
back. Let me go and be optimistic so that things get better in Ghana.
“Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of 'Ghana' Man has nowhere to lay his head."
I've never really wanted to be a politician but of late the idea has been really tempting. I mean, who can resist those huge pays and bonuses with the added advantage of being a respected megalomaniac?
I recently wrote a 140 character letter to our dear President on twitter calling for him to establish a Ministry of Irony. Come to think of it, it should be a Ministry of Irony and General Non-seriousness. If the President, takes my recommendation serious, I'd gladly offer myself as a minister for this position in service to mother Ghana.
Dear President @JDMahama, I think it would be a good idea to form a MINISTRY OF IRONY to oversee all other ministries. Yours Sincerely, Efo
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) March 31, 2014
As a Minister of Irony and General Non-seriousness, I would oversee the dealings of all other ministry and make sure their non-seriousness is streamlined to enhance non-productivity. I would make a mockery of any sensible decision made by any well meaning Ghanaian and even further caricature all Government decisions till Ghana becomes the number one laughing stock in Africa. At the moment, the non-seriousness of our politician is a bit uncoordinated.
Recently, Members of Parliament started calling for armed guards to protect them 24/7 from the now frustrated people who voted for them. Their calls for armed guards increasing everyday. Far be it for them to take a small amount of their exorbitant salaries to hire private security. In a country where the minimum wage is GhC5.24per day or GhC141.48 per month (about $52 per month and people earn less than that), Members of Parliament earn a meager GhC7,200 per month ($2,674) and that doesn't include their many allowances and bonuses and 'kickbacks'. How can anyone not feel sorry for these poor MPs and grant them their wish for more money and more security?
When it came to the issue of the security of the average Ghanaian, the MP for Ablekuma North, Joe Appiah, said we should quote Isaiah 54:17 when attacked by ArmedRobbers because, it worked for him before. Don't you love how concerned our MPs are about us? This selfless MP wants all Ghanaians to have divine protection while they the MPs suffer the ignominy of mere mortal armed guards.
Isaiah 54: 17"No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."
Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year, the country was hit with a series of strikes from various groups over unpaid salaries and the high cost of living. The National Security Adviser, Brigadier General Joseph Nunoo-Mensah, got angry at the striking workers and said, any Ghanaian who couldn't sacrifice like they the politicians were doing, should pack his bag and leave the country. And as if to further drum home this point, a few weeks later, fuel prices and utility tariffs went up!
The government has allocated $306 million for the expansion of the Ridge Hospital from 200 bed to 420 beds. This is very welcomed news given that our hospitals are not big enough. Recently, news came out that the richest man in Africa, Aliko Dangote, had made an announcement that he was going to construct a 1000 bed ultra modern Hospital in Kano State at the cost of $12 million. We the ungrateful citizens of Ghana saw the slight difference in cost and started complaining again. A group called the Alliance for Accountable Government (AFAG) is calling for an immediate investigation into the $306 million.
What AFAG has failed to take into account is the amount of money that would be spent on per diem when the Minister goes for a meeting with the contractor. The new fleet of cars that would be bought for the minster to go for these meeting and inspections and the amount of money that would be used to fuel these cars and provide security for the minister. Frankly in my opinion, $306 million is not enough. Aliko Dangote has all these already that is why his hospital will cost only $12 million.
Over the Christmas period, the President and his family his family went to Dubai to spend the holidays. The only reason I was bitter about this was probably because I wish I could also take my family to Dubai for Holidays. When I'm minister of Irony, I definitely will. When people as bitter as myself started complaining about the presidents luxury holiday, Johnson Asiedu Nketiah, the General Secretary of the Ruling NDC Party went on one radio station, CitiFM and said the trip to Dubai was a "Cost Saving Strategy". According to him, the president was leaving the country to escape buying gifts for his friends and anyone else. A holiday in a 7 star hotel in far away Dubai with his family was a much cheaper alternative to buy Christmas gifts. This to me made a lot of sense. Everybody knows that you can't buy Christmas gifts after Christmas is over.
Have you ever heard the term, “Bread and Circus”? Well, basically, it like this. In ancient Rome, any time the government sensed that the people were threatening to revolt due to the hardships in the country, they would invest a lot of money into flamboyant Circuses and free bread. The Circus would keep people distracted from the real problems and people don't talk when there is food in their mouth. This worked for the Ancient Roman Empire quite often.
It seem our politicians read ancient times Roman politics (or it could possibly be down to dumb luck). They've come up with a similar scheme. The Government just approved a budget of $9.6 million for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. The clever thing they did was to initial throw a budget of $20 million into the public domain and after much public criticism, they approved $9.6 million thereby hoodwinking everyone into thinking they had approved a more reasonable budget. Out of their budget, $10,000 was allocated for local foodstuff, $150,000 allocated for Protocol and $30,000 for laundry. The members of the 'Protocol' team will be getting more bonuses than the players themselves. Given that the players will wear a different Jersey for each game and therefore don't need to wash them, I believe the $30,000 budgeted for laundry is for the washing away of sins.
I could go on and on but you get the point. Ghana seriously needs a ministry of Irony and General Non-seriousness to streamline the affairs of this country and I would gladly offer myself for this position. Some have even called for me to stand for president but I'm humble enough to recognize that I'm not yet ready for such a position.
@Amegaxi Infact I think you should be the next president. I will vote for you 3 times
