The Joys of Onye Sɔɔmi

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Posted by Cyriusedeviruz on Thursday, 31 March 2016

“Onye sɔɔmi” is such an enigmatic phrase. In its truest meaning it’s a vulgar insult directed at someone’s mother but actually it’s so much more than that. I speak three Ghanaian languages and each of them has tried to replicate it but none has achieved the same oomph or range of emotions of the original “Onye sɔɔmi”.

The closest I can come to describing “Onye sɔɔmi” for non-Ghanaians is that it falls somewhere between the N-word and the F-word but it has more flair and emotions than both words.

Having spent two years living in Kaneshie, a predominantly Ga community, I managed to get some understanding of this enigmatic phrase. However, I think no one who isn’t a Ga can fully appreciate the joys of “Onye sɔɔmi”.

I will attempt to catalogue some of the various situations in which “Onye sɔɔmi” can be and has been used.

Onye Sɔɔmi Standing Ovation:

Every afternoon in Kaneshie, men of all ages would gather under trees to play Drought. Sometimes I would visit one of the game venues to enjoy the spectacle. Any time one player was in a position to take three or more of his opponent’s pieces; he would alert the spectators and count aloud as he took the pieces. With each count, the spectators would shout “Sɔɔmi!” After the pieces were taken and all the “Sɔɔmis” said, everyone would clap and start discussing how good the move was.

I also remember one time I was at video center watching an FA Cup match between Arsenal and Aston Villa when Alexis Sanchez scored a really stunning goal. The goal led to a spontaneous eruption of joyous “Sɔɔmis” and each time the goal was shown, the “Sɔɔmi” was longer and more dramatic.

I came to the conclusion that when it was used as a sign of admiration, the “Onye” was dropped and just the “Sɔɔmi” was enough.

Onye Sɔɔmi Salutations:

A stranger in Kaneshie or any Ga community for that matter could be forgiven for thinking “Onye sɔɔmi” was some form of greeting. Every morning’s serenity was shattered by what sounded like happy “Onye sɔɔmis”. Friends shouting them at each other, irritated people shouting them at dawn preachers and random people just shouting them because they could.

Often, but not always, “Onye sɔɔmi” is accompanied by a hand gesture that is sort of like a thumbs up sigh but with the thumb moving up and down. One thing you should know is that you can’t go interfering in friendly “Onye sɔɔmi”. If you are not friends, it is just a very offensive insult.

GAs are really quiet and non-rowdy. Don't mind these Twitter people, we are sweet people. 'Sormi' is just a sign of gratitude.

— Annertey (@annertey_) October 8, 2015

Onye Sɔɔmi Chain Reaction:

One thing I noticed about “Onye sɔɔmi” is how one shout of it leads to many. Recently, I was in traffic on the N1 when two drivers got into some sort of misunderstanding. They suddenly stopped side by side with no regard for other road users and started exchanging heated “Onye sɔɔmis.” This led to other drivers becoming irritated and they too started shouting “Onye sɔɔmi”. It was an Onye sɔɔmi buffet interjected with load honking and a few other choice swear words in other languages.

Qualified Onye Sɔɔmi:

Sometimes “Onye sɔɔmi” is not enough and I would hear people add other words for impact. I remember hearing Onye sɔɔmi kakalika (cockroach), Onye sɔɔmi 2 by 4 (why 2 by 4 I will never know), Onye sɔɔmi chin gom (chewing gum) and a few other inexplicably qualified ones. I have no idea what informs these ones but I came to accept that no one but a Ga can really appreciate the intricacies of “Onye sɔɔmi”

Insulting Onye Sɔɔmi:

When used as an insult, the “sɔɔmi” is often dropped and just the “Onye” is used. I never really got to fully understand the insult part. I remember a woman in the house I lived who constantly insulted her son by saying “Onye sɔɔmi”. It didn’t really make sense to me since she was the Onye in this case but as I said, only a true Ga can really appreciate the joys of Onye sɔɔmi.

Onye Sɔɔmi Chronicles:

My first clear funny “Onye sɔɔmi” incident occurred when I was in class 5. Of course before then I myself had used it a few times but none of those were memorable.

I was in class 5 and I along with some kids were attending our first French class. We were learning to conjugate the verb “etre”. The teacher called each of us to read what he had written and needless to say, we struggled.

One guy was called to read “nous sommes”. The poor guy, who already had problems reading in English, had no idea what to say. The teacher encouragingly helped by pronouncing the first word, “nous”. The guy then confidently said “nous sɔɔmi”. This led to the class bursting into laughter which in turn made the teacher very angry.

In conclusion, you should know that “Onye sɔɔmi” is not for everyone. Before you can trade friendly “Onye sɔɔmi” with anyone, you should have previously established a relationship with the person. Anything apart from that and you can expect a very angry reaction.

Go ahead and enjoy your “Onye sɔɔmi” but be circumspect and do it in moderation. 

This reminded me of your blog @Amegaxi pic.twitter.com/0h10Y8X6FN

— Lush (@lushrabbi) August 11, 2015

ps: Onye Sɔɔmi is pronounced "Own yeah Sore-me" the more "ɔ", the longer you stretch the Sore

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The Real Accra Mall

The real Accra Mall is not the traffic trap wedged between Spintex road and the Accra-Tema Motorway. No, that place is just a place where prepubescent teen flock on holidays like animals entering Noah's ark to carry out amorous activities. The real Accra Mall is the chaotic market found everywhere in Accra. In traffic, on narrow walkways, your door step and any available space in Accra.

                                                                 The Other Accra Mall

There's almost nothing you can't find these days being hawked on the streets of Accra. From household, live animals, appliances all the way to medical supplies and even car washing services. You can even get your favorite fake 'Roy Bons' glasses which the seller would swear by all the gods is the real deal. No one would know it's a fake anyway, so you might as well buy them.

Buying in Accra traffic is an art that needs to be learned and perfected. The hawkers know the timing of all the traffic lights and use them to their advantage. Once the traffic light go red, it's a free for all scramble by hawkers. If you are driving a good looking car, some young men would start giving your car an express car wash for a fee. This exclusive premium service is not offered to public transport vehicles or people driving rickety cars.  

When buying in traffic, you need to be careful the hawker doesn't get away with your money. There's really no time to bargain. Once the hawker states a price, you state a counter price and if you both can't agree, don't waste time haggling just go your way. If you come to an agreement, take whatever you are buying, show the hawker your money and take your change before you hand over the money. Anything else and you could lose your money. The traffic lights would go green, other drivers would start honking at you and the hawker would have sold you a nice pack of disappointment.

The formula for buying traffic are as follow:

if price is Gh¢5.00 buy at ½ x Price

if price is Gh¢10.00 buy at < Gh¢7.00

do not bargain if price is < Gh¢1.00

Faith is buying an electric bulb in Accra traffic with no means of testing but hoping it works when you get home.

One thing you have to admire about the hawkers in Accra is their fitness level and determination. They will chase you vehicle for quite a while to get you to buy their wares and their mastery of flattery is unrivaled.

Hawking on the pedestrians' walk way is also a tricky business. Sanitation officers frequently come along with batons and whips to clear the walkaway. The hawkers are always ready to pack their wares and take to flight and return the moment the officers leave. Even in the midst of flight, they would still find time to sell to you if you are interested.

When shopping in crowded areas like bridges one needs to be aware for pickpockets and opportunistic thieves who are more than eager to relieve you of your not so heavy wallet.

Shopping in Accra also offers door-to-door services. This is usually done by children who are too young to be working but are anyway. These merchants usually deal in groceries and other basic kitchen ingredients. It's usually difficult to bargain with these kids as the usual response in, “My mother said it is Gh¢5.00”.

The Accra Mall will find you where ever you are in Accra. Whatever you are looking for, it's sold in some corner around you, no need to go to the Tetteh-Quarshie interchange. You will find it if you look hard enough.

One time around 37 Hospital, one of those hawkers selling the battery powered vibrators tried to 'massage' me with one. I was so startled 😂😂
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) March 4, 2014

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