Ghanaian are generally religious
people and this shows in almost every aspect of our lives, especially our name.
Names have to have meaning so you are not likely to find a Ghanaian called
North West or Pilot Inspektor or some other random aggregation of alphabets
like Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116(Pronounced "Albin").
Names are believed to have an impact
on the bearer so kids are named after respected people or given names that
carry some sort of messages. Not only people, buildings and anything capable of
bearing name. The need for names to have meaning often results in rib cracking
and head scratching moments.
1. POOR TRANSLATION:
Attempting to translate anything
from any of the many local languages to English can be very difficult, more so
if your mastery of the English language is not great. I’m not sure why people won’t
ask for help when embarking on this obviously tricky task but they have
provided as with many moments of laughter and embarrassment depending on where
you are standing.
"Nin nsa nu edwuma Consultancy" should translate to "His Handiwork Consultancy" but somehow ended up being the very awkward and sexually suggestive "His Hand Job Consultancy".
2. BEING AN EWE
Being an Ewe is a good excuse to
have a hilarious name (yes, you guessed right; Hilarious is someone’s name).
The problem with Ewe-English names is the same problem with poor translation
only that Ewes apply this only to humans. Why they chose to translate their
name will probably be the subject of another discussion. The result of these
translations means many Ewes have adjectives, adverbs, nouns and even sentences
for names. Recently, #Ewenames was trending on Gh Twitter and I felt guilty laughing because somewhere out there, I probably have a cousin with such a name.
Common translations include:
Patience - Dzigbordi
Godsway – Mawufemor
Godlives – Mawuli
Saviour/Redeemer – Dela or Hola
Lifesgood – Agbenyo
There are also some names that
are so long that the owners just go by their acronyms. I’ve heard of two such
name,
WETT: We Thank Thee
JILAK: Jesus Is Lord and King
Unfortunately my Dad denied me my
birthright by not giving me any of these exciting names. Those of you who know my
middle name know how bland and non-Ewe it is.
I always thought it would be a nice idea if an Ewe lady called Forgive married a guy called Divine, the pastor could always say, "To Forgive is Divine".
I just heard of an Ewe lady called Gretel. As in Gretel from Hansel and Gretel.
Why am even surprised? I know an Ewe lady called Cinderella
— Efo Dela (@Amegaxi) March 4, 2014
3. PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
There is no better way to let
people know of your struggles or achievements in life than to name something
after it. The inscriptions of taxi’s and trotros most often tell what the owner
of the vehicle is going through at a certain point in his life. Villages and
towns are named after certain historic occurrences or people. There’s a town in
Kumasi called “Sikafuɔ a’mba ntɛm” which means “The
Rich didn’t arrive early enough. I’d really love to know the story behind this
name. I also remember seeing a shop with the name, “IF 7 + 3 = 11, WHO CARES”.
This junction's name means, "I'm not a fool, I've just got issue".
And this one...
4. NICKNAMES
Most Ghanaian nicknames are just annoying. That is if you are the one bearing the name, otherwise, they are just hilarious. Some people are given nicknames right from childhood and never outgrow them. Somewhere along the line, your real name just disappears and the annoying nickname becomes your real name. Nicknames are usually given based on personality or looks.
For example, all midgets in Ghana are called "Taller", Plump kids are called Obolo, light skinned people and Albinos are called Obroni, Yevu or whatever word there is for "White Man" in their local language. The only way to permanently get rid of an annoying nickname is to move to a different community, where you will probably get another annoying nickname.
There's always some grown up in your neigbourhood with a very inappropriate name. The new craze is to have these nicknames on obituary posters.
Ernest Kofi Appau
(aka Malafaka)
Is there a desperate attempt to outdo nicknames on obituaries in Ghana now?
— Lexis (@niilexis) July 9, 2013
5. SHORTAGE OF NAMES
With so many churches and businesses popping up everywhere and with everyone wanting a unique name, there was always bound to be a shortage of names. New Churches keep surprising us by pulling names out of unknown planes of reality.
6. I HAVE NO IDEA
Sometimes I hear or read a name and all I can say is, "what were they thinking?" Why burden a child with a name that would cause him to be the object of ridicule all his life. Why give your shop or business a name that would cause people to run in the opposite direction?
EXTRAS
I was recently at beach and some of the names of the canoes and boats where just too hilarious. Most of them were Ga proverb.
Man Making is Bottom Tight
(Nuufee mɔ dzi dunaa miamɔ)
1 + 1 = 3 Why? Yaa Bi Onye
(1 + 1 = 3 Why? Go Ask Your Mama)
PS: It's nice to know that Ghana is not unique when it comes to strange names, I got this picture from a friend in Kenya. I have no idea what it means in the local language but in English...
